Miranda's Journal
by Maximan
Summary: Gordo and Lizzie have no idea where their best friend Miranda Sanchez went and why she left four years ago, but when Gordo comes across her journal it may lead to answers. [POSTED ON MY WATTPAD: @jaxongardner as well!]
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Gordo and Lizzie no longer hangout at the Digital Bean as much as they did before.

In middle school, they'd go there almost four times a week to do homework, chat and more importantly, use the computers speedy DSL. The Digital Bean had the perfect atmosphere for kids getting out of school, which made it the hottest spot for tweens. Lizzie and Gordo participated in that; they had spent endless hours there after school, and on the weekends; if they weren't at each other's houses, they'd be at the café. But Lizzie and Gordo weren't alone though. Someone else joined them. Someone else came along to every study group, every chat session and every minute of random web surfing; a dear friend to both Lizzie and Gordo. Sadly, they no longer visit the Digital Bean because of that friend.

On one hot summer weekend, Lizzie and Gordo were looking for a place to go out on a date and out of nowhere, Gordo suggested the Digital Bean. It came as a shock to Lizzie. It'd been four years since they had gone to that café. They never went into that part of town anymore so both were unsure if it still had business.

"Are you sure you want to go there?" Lizzie asked, when the two were sitting on a bench in Hillridge park.

"You don't?" Gordo questioned.

"Of course I do but-"

"Then let's go." Gordo stood up and offered his hand to his girlfriend. Lizzie took it and pulled herself up.

Walking into the Digital Bean was like stepping into a photo album full of old photographs. The memories flooded Gordo and Lizzie. The place hadn't changed at all. Gordo ordered a typical chocolate milkshake, while Lizzie had a friend's favorite: a mango and pineapple smoothie. They chose a small table in the back of the Digital Bean, sitting across from each other.

Gordo and Lizzie didn't speak for awhile and the sounds of the machines whirling, along with the slurping of their drinks weren't enough to over power the painful silence between them. Gordo twirled the straw swimming in his shake. Them not speaking grew annoying and boring. He needed to say something.

"It's nice being back here," Gordo mentioned, looking up at Lizzie. She nodded as she brought the glass cup to her mouth and took a sip of the smoothie.

"We should come here more often," Gordo added. "Like old times."

Lizzie only nodded as she stared down at the table. Gordo sighed at his girlfriend's lack of conversing. He continued to twirl the straw in his half consumed shake, staring into the cup. A wave of emotions must have flooded Lizzie as a result of coming back to the _spot_ and that's why no words came out of her.

"How do you feel about of all this?" Gordo asked. "About being back at this place? About her?"

Lizzie drew out a heavy sigh. He didn't expect her to answer right away or even answer at all. Gordo just hoped, if they talked about their feelings, an answer might surface. An answer that could fix what they were doing; swimming in sheer bitter-sweet memories.

"She was like a sister to me. She still is," Lizzie began. She took another sip of her smoothie, then continued. Gordo sat up straighter and leaned into the table to show he cared.

"In middle school, she said she wasn't going anywhere..."

Gordo slumped back into the chair when he realized Lizzie's point. She didn't need to say anymore, because Gordo knew they were on the same page. Their best friend, Miranda Sánchez left four years ago. She did not stay. She _did_ go somewhere. Miranda didn't keep her promise. Since then, Gordo and Lizzie had no contact from her. No phone calls or letters. Not even an email.

Gordo knew Lizzie and Miranda were so close, but he was one of Miranda's good friends too and he had many questions for himself. Was it his fault that Miranda left? Was it Lizzie's? Maybe it had nothing to do with them at all? Maybe it was all Miranda. Maybe she moved on. It made him insane not having answers, surely with Lizzie too.

"But Gordo, of course you know how _I_ feel. I talk to you about it all the time," Lizzie said. She looked into his grey, blue eyes. Gordo rolled them to the side and locked his jaws in place. He'd been hoping she wouldn't return the question. Gordo had been the one out of the two who hadn't expressed his feelings about Miranda being gone; he didn't know how he felt.

"Lizzie, you were the friend I had a crush on. You were the person I came to for advice, to cheer me up and to make me feel special," Gordo said. "Miranda was the one who shared the same sarcasm as me, who argued with me like brother and sister, who helped me, challenged me. I miss that. I miss that a lot."

Lizzie nodded, looked down for a second, then brought her eyes back to his. "But do you miss _her_?" Lizzie's eyebrows curved down and her eyes grew soft. Gordo pressed his lips together and furrowed his own eyebrows.

"Just as much as you do Lizzie. Believe me," Gordo answered firmly.

Lizzie half smiled. "That's good to hear because I was starting to think you didn't care. I mean you never talk about it."

Gordo poked at the straw. "Yeah well just because I don't talk about stuff doesn't mean I don't care. I mean you're my girlfriend Lizzie, you should know by now."

"I know, sorry. It's just, if Miranda found out you never talked about her, she'd be upset." Lizzie covered half of her face with her hand and looked away; Gordo perked in the chair.

"What do you mean?"

Lizzie looked back at him and shook her head. She started slipping out of her chair while grabbing the empty glass. "I don't know. Never mind," she said, standing up. "Come let's go hangout and watch movies at mine and Kate's apartment."

Gordo nodded and followed Lizzie, where they handed the busboy their empty glasses. Then out the Digital Bean they went and into Lizzie's car to her apartment she moved into with Kate Sanders. At the age of eighteen, Lizzie begged her parents to move out, but Jo wanted her to stay for at least another year or two. After some time going back and forth, Jo and Sam came to a decision she could move to an apartment in Hill Ridge with Kate and still be close by the McGuire's.

Gordo's parents were total opposite of Jo and Sam. They encouraged him to move out and learn to be independent at seventeen, even with half a semester of senior year to complete. But Gordo didn't feel ready, so he moved out after Graduation since he'd be going to college and living the dorms. Now at nineteen, he was used to the independence.

Lizzie drove them to the apartment in her used convertible with the top down. As they cruised down the California roads, Gordo's curly hair blew around in his face. His hair had been long since high school and everybody around him kept pestering him to cut it, but Gordo, he kept it that way for a reason.

In eighth grade, Miranda told Gordo she liked his fro and never wanted him to cut it. Since she left them, he'd been keeping it long for her. Even though she wasn't around to see it, having his hair the way she liked it held a memory of her; a memory he never wanted to forget.

"Kate must be out," Lizzie said when they got to the apartment and walked inside. Gordo plopped on the couch as Lizzie went to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and asked Gordo if he wanted anything to eat, but he shook his head. Lizzie walked to the couch and settled close to her boyfriend; she put her head on his shoulder and Gordo tilted his head on top of her's.

"Lizzie, do you ever wonder if it was your fault Miranda left us?" Gordo asked.

"No of course not. I love Miranda and I know it was nothing personal." Lizzie lifted her head and sat up straight.

"Why? Do you?" she asked. Gordo shrugged, not looking at his girlfriend.

"Gordo!" Lizzie said with her mouth hung open. "It's not your fault!"

Gordo sunk his head onto the back of the couch. He sighed and folded his hands on his lap, then cleared his throat.

"A day before Miranda left for Mexico and before our class trip to Rome, I told Miranda that I liked you. I came to her for advice on what to do. She told me she was happy I finally admitted it, but then Miranda slammed her locker, grabbed her things and left. I never saw her again. She didn't say goodbye."

Lizzie touched his hands. "I'm sorry Gordo. She did say goodbye to me."

"Yeah well after Rome, Miranda never came back. I must have done something."

"You don't know that Gordo."

"Lizzie," Gordo turned to face her. "The last thing Miranda did when I saw her was get angry at me for some reason and then leave without saying goodbye."

"Okay, but how come you've never told me about that before? Don't you think that'd be a good thing for me to know?"

Gordo sunk back onto the couch, closed his eyes and sighed. "Can we just watch a movie or something? I'll pick."

Lizzie stood up. "No I will. You always get to pick."

She went to a shelve full of DVDs while Gordo lightened up and laughed. As she chose a movie, he shifted on the couch because the cushions were out of place. He stood up to straighten them, but when he lifted one up, he saw something wedged in between the cushions; a small black book a little bigger than Gordo's hand. The cover had no words so he knew it wasn't a novel. He pulled it out if the couch, guessing it was Lizzie's and it fell between the cushions by accident. But when Gordo inspected it closer, he saw something etched in the corner of the book.

"Miranda Sanchez?" he gasped quietly. "How long has this been there?"

"What?" Lizzie came back with two movies. Gordo whipped his head around, stuffing the small book in his jacket pocket.

"Nothing." He looked up at Lizzie and smiled innocently.

"Okay..." Lizzie eyed him, sitting down. She held up two movie options. "Which one?"

Gordo pointed to the one on the left and Lizzie popped it in the DVD player. They watched movies until ten at night before Lizzie drove Gordo to his apartment. He went inside and kicked off his sneakers, pulled his jacket it off and tossed it on his bed. Then he remembered the book. He reached for the jacket and took the book out.

With his back leaning against the headboard, Gordo held the book, rubbing his thumb across the etched lettering in the corner. He stared intently at the possession belonging to Miranda and after arguments with his conscience, he opened the cover slowly. It felt strange holding a book that belonged to Miranda and also wrong, but there was a feeling inside of him telling him he should find out what was inside. Gordo took a deep breath when he saw words in Miranda's handwriting. It was a journal. _Her_ journal. Gordo was about to delve into Miranda's mind.

 **October 5th, 2002**

 **The Sadie Hawkins dance is coming up soon. Lizzie will probably ask Ethan if Kate doesn't get to him first. I on the other hand have no idea who I'll ask. No guy probably wants to go out with boring Miranda Sanchez. I guess I'll be going alone. How sad. I guess there is someone I'd like to ask, but I can one hundred percent guarantee they won't go with me.**

 **October 7th, 2002**

 **Turns out, Ethan sees Lizzie as just a friend. She's not going to the dance with him. She's not even going to the dance at all. I got excited because it would be just me and Gordo. But when I asked him, why don't we go, we're friends? Gordo told me, "But we don't like each other like that." I should have known better.**

Gordo finished reading the first page and it sparked a clear memory of that time. He remembered the eighth grade Sadie Hawkins dance well. He helped Lizzie find out what Ethan liked so she could be the perfect person for him, but Gordo ended up having no date for the dance and so did Miranda.

 _"Hey Gordo," Miranda got his attention at lunchtime. The two of them sat alone while_ _Lizzie talked to Ethan. "Why don't we go to the dance?"_

 _"Me and you?" Gordo raised his eyebrows._

 _"Yeah, we can go together."_

 _Gordo grabbed his milk carton and looked at Miranda's smiling face. "But we don't like each other like that," he said._

 _Miranda frowned. "We can go as friends."_

 _"I guess so," Gordo realized. Usually the three of them go to dances together, he thought of going with Lizzie at times, but never Miranda for some reason. Maybe because at Hillridge junior high, going to a dance with someone meant you were an item. Just ask Kate Sanders. If he went with Miranda, people would be talking. Not that it was a bad thing; Miranda was a wonderful person. She was pretty, well dressed, funny and fun to be around. But Gordo always had a crush on Lizzie for a long time, while Miranda's been like his sister._

 _"You know what," Miranda stood up and slung her book bag around her shoulder. She shook her head a bunch of times. "Forget it." Miranda left without taking her tray. Gordo watched her, wondering what he did wrong and why she left all of a sudden._

Gordo snapped out of the memory after he recalled Miranda getting upset and leaving. Funny, it was just like when Gordo came to her for advice about Lizzie; she got upset, then left and Gordo never her saw her again.

"How depressing," Gordo spoke to himself. "The last thing she said to me was that she was happy for me. Now she isn't even here to see me with Lizzie."

Gordo slid onto his pillow and turned to his side; Miranda's journal lay next to him. He slept without a shower, brushing his teeth, or changing out of his khakis and button up. He fell asleep with Miranda's written words being the last thing to cross his mind.

* * *

 _ **Note: Even though I ship Miranda and Gordo, he's with Lizzie in this story. It focuses on Gordo's FRIENDSHIP with Miranda. Hope you liked the first chapter. Loved to know what you thought.  
**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Gordo stretched out in his bed, opening his eyes directly at a window in his room, where the morning sunlight partly blinded him for a second. He rubbed his eyes and swung his arm across the bed, knocking Miranda's journal to the floor. Gordo forgot about it and was eager to read another page so he bent over the edge of the bed, reaching for the black book. As he lay on his back, he held the book up in the air, staring at the name Miranda must have etched herself in the corner. Although he'd already read a page, Gordo fought with himself to read another. Her first two entries seemed to hint something Gordo couldn't pinpoint yet, but he had a feeling reading more would lead to answers.

A rush of nerves and excitement flowed through Gordo while his fingers shook as he flipped to the second page. He scanned the page and grinned. The first time he had read it, he never noticed Miranda's neat handwriting. Gordo realized he had a book filled with memories of her, all to himself. For some reason that made him feel special.

"Okay, here we go," Gordo whispered to himself. "October eighth, two thousand and two," he read the heading aloud.

 **October 8th, 2002**

 **The Sadie Hawkins dance aftermath: Yesterday I ended up dancing with Matt at the McGuire's. Gordo danced with Lizzie, of course! Today was okay I guess. I mean, at school Gordo and Lizzie couldn't stop talking to each other. Them dancing must have sparked something in them, because they wouldn't stop talking. I kept trying to ask Gordo stuff, but he ignored me. Maybe today wasn't a good day after all. Oh well. That's life. You can't always have good days. Definitely not in Miranda's world where you constantly seem to have bad days. Wow, how did I get so unlucky?**

Gordo sighed after he read the last sentence. Reading Miranda's personal thoughts and feelings made him wonder, did he really know his best friend as much as he thought? He continued to read to find out more.

 **October 9th, 2002**

 **All three of us hung out at the Digital Bean today so it's all good! Gordo was the first to arrive after me and I got excited. We were actually alone, but it only lasted five minutes before Lizzie walked in and Gordo ran up to her. Gordo wore his light pink sweater, which made everything worse. Not to mention his curls!**

Gordo finished the second page wishing the entries weren't so short. He wanted to read more, but he remembered his summer job at the movie theater in town and he couldn't stay in bed all day reading Miranda's journal that he probably shouldn't be reading in the first place. So Gordo dragged his body out of bed, took a hot shower, dressed in his work clothes and while he ate breakfast, called Lizzie.

"Come hang with me at the mall after work. I need to ask you something," Gordo said.

"Is everything okay?" Lizzie noticed heavy breathing through the phone.

"Just meet me at the mall at two okay?"

"Sure Gordo. Love you."

"Love you too."

Gordo hung up and took one last bite of cereal before unhooking his car keys off the rack. He went to his bedroom and decided to bring Miranda's journal with him, hiding it in the pocket of his jacket. He planned on reading another entry during break, if he could convince himself to read it in public for his shift.

Gordo chose a job at the movie theater because of his interest in filming and movies. A great perk was getting money off the concessions and occasional free tickets. He'd get word on new movies showing and got to put up the posters. All those were great reasons to love the job, but something else made it worthwhile. The theater Gordo worked at was the same theater he snuck in with Lizzie and Miranda to see and R rated movie. The same theater where he spent hours trying to beat Miranda at the arcade games and the theater where he saw his first Spielberg film. To say the least, that theater held cherished memories.

Gordo looked at the very placed he stood with Lizzie and Miranda five years ago, while he took a pause preparing popcorn behind the concession counter. He could vividly see himself walking out of a movie, standing next to Miranda with Lizzie opposite. The hilarious movie they'd seen kept them laughing even after the credits. Gordo closed his eyes and could hear Miranda's laugh when Lizzie had repeated a funny line from the movie. He'd give anything to hear that laugh again; anything to have the trio back together, hanging at the movies like old times.

At ten am, the theater opened and a crowed of people came in to see the new Frankie Muniz movie. Gordo had a line of people in front of him at the concession stand. As he filled buckets with popcorn and cups with soda, his eyes darted towards the entrance where he swore he saw somebody with a familiar clothing style, but lost track of them when two people he knew came up to the concessions.

"Yo Gordon," Ethan Craft greeted, with Kate Sanders around his arm.

"Hey Ethan, how've you been?"

"I've been fine Gordo," Ethan beamed.

"Kate." Gordo gave her a nod with a smile.

"Hey Gordo, we'll have a small popcorn and box of gobstoppers for Ethan," Kate said.

"Still love those, huh Ethan?" Gordo smiled and shook his head.

He filled a small bucket to the brim with popcorn and pulled a box of gobstoppers out, handing it to Ethan.

"That'll be eight fifty," Gordo said. Kate fished in her purse for money, but Ethan had already pulled out a ten-dollar bill from his wallet.

"Ethan," Kate said, pushing his arm back.

"Keep the change Gordon."

"Thanks, Ethan."

"No problem, Gordo. Catch you later."

After his shift, Gordo drove to the mall only a few blocks away to meet up with Lizzie at the food court. As he walked inside, he remembered what was inside his jacket. He patted the bulge in the pocket made by Miranda's book. Walking down to the food court, he tried to decide whether he should tell Lizzie he'd pretty much stolen Miranda's journal and started reading it. He felt like Lizzie was obligated to know things about her best friend, but he also wanted to keep it to himself. The journal stayed put when he saw Lizzie sitting at a table.

"So I have a question for you," Gordo said, slipping in the chair in front of his girlfriend. Lizzie put on a puzzling stare.

"Okay...go for it," she said.

"Remember the Sadie Hawkins dance in eighth grade when you tried to get Ethan to go with you?"

"Of course. But why are you bringing that up?" Lizzie asked.

"Well remember he still saw you as a friend and you didn't end up going to the dance?"

Lizzie smiled. "And you came over to my house and danced with me."

Gordo nodded, remembering that special moment too, but he didn't smile because his focus was on something else.

"You remember Miranda and I had no dates right?"

"Gordo I'm not sure I know where you're going with this."

Gordo paused to think about the first page of Miranda's journal he read the night before.

"What would you have said if I went to that dance with Miranda?" he asked.

"You mean you _didn't_ go with her? Gordo, I assumed you two would go together because you were good friends."

That wasn't the answer Gordo had expected. Even Lizzie thought he could have gone to the Sadie Hawkins with Miranda. Suddenly he started feeling guilty.

"Gordo, why'd you bring this up?" Lizzie asked.

"Because, I'm beginning to think I should have gone to that dance with Miranda."

He looked down at his jacket and pulled out Miranda's journal halfway out. Lizzie noticed, leaning over the table to see.

"Is that a journal Gordo? Is it yours?"

Gordo stuffed the book back and whipped his head back to look at Lizzie.

"No it's not a journal."

"Gordo you don't have to be shy about having one," Lizzie said.

"Trust me it's not a journal."

Lizzie scrunched her eyebrows down. "Are you okay Gordo?"

"Lizzie, what if I had gone to that dance with Miranda, she could be here right now? What if that one moment changed everything? and it was all my fault?" Gordo ignored Lizzie's question.

"Gordo where in the world is this coming from? It seems like this Miranda stuff his hitting you four years too late," Lizzie said.

Gordo breathed in slowly and let it out. "I just have a lot of questions and I want to find answers."

"So do I but I don't think there's anything we can do."

"Maybe read her journal and find out more."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Gordo had a strong feeling something in that journal had an answer to why Miranda left and he was going to figure it out if it meant reading the journal, front and back. Every last word. Over coming his guilt would be the hard part.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

 **October 14th, 2002**  
 **I'm sorry I haven't written in four days. I don't have the motivation and I don't even know why I have this stupid journal. It's not like I want to ever remember this time of my life. Looking down the road, I hope I burn this journal. I'm only writing in here because I have nowhere else to get my feelings out.**

Gordo read that entry when he got home from the mall in the living room of his apartment. He lay his back on the couch, wondering why that time of Miranda's life wasn't good for her. He remembered her usually happy all the time. You know, except for when she had issues with her body, but besides that she always had a smile and she laughed a lot. When Gordo was around her she seemed free-spirited and joyful. When he hung out with her alone, he'd see a glow in her eyes. That couldn't of been all an act? Could she have been hiding true emotions behind that?

"I'm so confused," Gordo complained, wanting to lightly toss the book on the coffee table, but instead ended up chucking it and knocking his video camera to the ground. Gordo jumped off the couch and rushed to see if it survived the fall. He picked it up and pressed the _on_ button, but all that showed was black.

"Oh man, I need this camera for my summer assignment," Gordo whined. He slapped his forehead hard. "Now it won't turn on. I don't have money to buy a new one, so I've gotta get this fixed."

Gordo growled as he took his car keys off the rack again. He brought his camera and Miranda's journal on his way into town to the camera shop. His knuckles turned white when he gripped the steering wheel through his frustration caused by the camera breaking and the Miranda stuff. The last thing he felt like doing was asking the shop if they could fix the camera and then waiting thirty minutes just for an answer. But he chose to study film in college and he needed a video camera for a summer project, so he had no choice. Maybe to pass the time he could read the journal.

When Gordo got into town, he pulled his car up to the camera shop but no parking spots were available near by, so he turned around and parked a long distance away. He had to walk down the side walk, passing a bunch of stores. He toyed with his video camera, making sure it really was broken, but looking at the screen caused Gordo to lose his pace. His feet tripped on a crack and he flew forward, colliding into the pedestrian in front of him.

"Can you watch where you're going?" the women snapped. Gordo stepped back to catch a glimpse of a women wearing a hood with light brown, red tinted hair peaking out.

"Sorry," he apologized, speed walking past her. Gordo closed his eyes, a little shaken up from the collision. He looked behind him, taking another glance at the women to see if she was okay. She seemed around his age, wearing a college hoodie, but nobody he'd seen before. He hoped the incident didn't ruin the rest of her day, because she sounded sour.

When Gordo walked into the camera shop, he got a worker to looks at his video camera. While he waited, he sat on a bench out side of the shop. Once again, in his hands he held Miranda's journal. He opened it to the page he marked with a sticky note.

"Here we go," Gordo whispered. "Again."

 **October 18th, 2002**

 **Lizzie got a job as a "busboy" at the Digital Bean so we don't see her as much. Gordo's been teasing me about Matt's sudden crush on me, but I don't mind because we've been spending time together. Just us. I know it might sound like I don't like hanging out with Lizzie, but that's not the case. TRUST ME. It's just, when it's all three of us, it's Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. What does Lizzie think? What does Lizzie want? How's Lizzie? Where's Lizzie? Those are questions Gordo asks all the time. Lizzie is like my sister, I'd never hate her, but sometimes I feel, left out? That's probably the right word. But anyway, today I had the best day with Gordo. We hung at his house and he taught me how to hacky sack. I'm very bad at it, but I don't mind. I just sat on the couch and watched him do it. He's so skilled. He never fails to impress me. After that, we got bored. He sat next to me in the couch and we ended up talking for an hour or two. It was the best conversation I've had with him in a while. Well up until he mentioned Lizzie again.**

Gordo looked up and stared straight ahead. His mind remembered that day. Them at his house with nothing to do while Lizzie worked at the Digital Bean. _Gordo finished teaching Miranda how to hacky sack and now they were on the couch together. Gordo lay his head on an arm rest with his legs stretched out while Miranda lay on the opposite arm rest with her legs curled up. Gordo fiddled around with his hacky sack, tossing it from one hand to another._

 _"Hey Miranda, do you think it's strange not having Lizzie around?"_

 _"I love when all three of us hangout, but isn't it nice when it's just **us** for a change?"_

 _"I'll admit, change is good." Gordo tossed his hacky sack up and down. "You're my good friend too Miranda, so of course I like hanging with you." He threw the sack to her and she caught it with one hand._

 _"Say that again please."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Never mind. Let's talk about something else." Miranda tossed the hacky sack back._

 _"Okay what should we talk about?"_

 _Miranda rolled her eyes around, thinking. "What's your favorite thing about your best friends?" she asked._

 _"Hm, let me start with Lizzie," Gordo said. "She's a kind person and can make a room light up."_

 _"Those are great reasons. So what about-"_

 _"And she cares so much about her friends, she'd do anything for them."_

 _"Yeah, Lizzie's totally that person," Miranda said. She stared at Gordo. "So what about me?"_

 _"You? Oh that's easy. You make me laugh. Especially now that Matt has that crush on you." Gordo chuckled, thinking about Lizzie's little brother trying to win Miranda's attention._

 _"Is that all?"_

 _"I'm sure there's more, but that's my favorite thing about you."_

Gordo snapped out of the memory and slapped his forehead over and over. After calming down, he remembered everything he had read so far in Miranda's journal. Here were the things Gordo got from the three and a half pages he had read: He should have gone to the Sadie Hawkins dance with Miranda. He should have said more things that he liked about her, because now he had millions of reasons and finally, a big take away from the entries so far? Miranda wrote about him a lot and every page mentioned him, but still, none of that gave Gordo answers to why she left.

Gordo closed her journal, tucking it back in his pocket. He sighed and hung his head as he went back inside the shop to check on his video camera. The women there said she could fix it, but he'd have to wait three days. Gordo agreed, but he left the store kicking his foot on the cement. He clenched his fists as he walked to his car. Tension built up in his body, but it wasn't the fact that he'd be without his camera for three days. Lizzie spoke the truth; the Miranda stuff had been hitting him four years too late. Everyone around him moved forward, but Gordo, he was just beginning to search for answers.

Gordo cooled down when he decided to grab a drink at the Digital Bean that he'd take home to his apartment. Going back there gave him a rush of excitement because the Digital Bean was one of his favorite places on earth. He had to make up for all the years he missed going there.

Gordo arrived at the Digital Bean feeling refreshed. He looked at the building, grinning as he got out of his car. When he got closer to the door, he saw the young women he'd accidentally bumped into. He saw her going to the Digital Bean also, so Gordo ran up to her before she could go inside. Then he grabbed one of the door handles and pulled it open, but when the women got closer, their eyes met and she scurried into the Digital Bean. Gordo froze while still holding the door open. Having had a closer look at the women because her hood was off, he _recognized_ her. The reason he didn't when they encountered each other earlier was because she sported new hair.

When Gordo could get movement back in his legs, he let go of the door and went inside. He stood at the entrance when he saw the women frantically trying to order. Gordo just barley heard her ask for a mango-pineapple smoothie and then it really hit him. Gordo's heart stopped. His legs didn't know how to work again. It was _her._ How in the world could it be _her_?

"Miranda?" Gordo spoke when his breath wasn't caught in his throat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Miranda's head whipped around towards Gordo, but she looked only for a second before she ran to the doors, just as a worker set her smoothie on the counter. Gordo went after Miranda, telling the worker he'd pay for the smoothie. Although ecstatic to see his friend again, he still had some resentment towards her. He almost wanted to let her go, but he reminded himself that it had been _four_ _years_ since he and Lizzie saw her; he couldn't let her leave again.

"Miranda!" Gordo shouted, chasing her down the sidewalk. "Miranda Sanchez, it's me Gordo."

She started to speed walk, getting farther away. He did not want to lose track of her so he _sprinted_. When he caught up to her, he stood behind her and panted.

"Miranda," he said her name again. She stopped in her tracks and he thought she was going to turn around.

"Miranda," he said for a third time. He closed his eyes. "Miranda, I missed you."

He expected her to disappear, but when his eyes opened he looked at Miranda face to face; Gordo's eyes didn't believe what he saw. _Miranda Isabelle Sanchez,_ standing in front of him, in Hillridge, by the _Digital Bean._

"You missed me?" Miranda finally spoke.

"Wait, you're actually talking to me?"

Miranda blinked. "You _missed_ me?" she repeated.

Gordo looked at the ground. "Yeah, a lot," he said.

Having not spoken in four years, they had forgotten how to speak to each other and they stood, not moving. Gordo had many things to say to her, many questions to ask, but the words couldn't form in his mouth. He could tell Miranda wanted to say something too because she opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. There was wall between Gordo and Miranda; a four year old wall so thick, Gordo couldn't see her. He couldn't see Miranda as the same person she was before. He just saw her as the girl who left.

"I gotta go," Miranda stammered, walking past Gordo.

"Wait, Miranda you're seriously not leaving again are you?"

"I'm sure you're doing just fine without me. You've got Lizzie."

"Did you not hear me? I said I missed you."

Miranda crossed her arms. "How do I know you're not just saying that so you can get me back in your life again?"

"Because you should know me Miranda. _I'm telling the truth_."

"I have to go, please."

"Hold on." Gordo stopped her again. "Can we talk? You know catch up at the Digital Bean?"

"I can't."

"Well can you at least say hello to Lizzie? She'd go hysterical if she saw you."

"I'd rather catch up at the Digital Bean."

Gordo smiled. "So does that mean you want to?"

"I guess so," she agreed halfway. Gordo swore he saw a tiny smile peeking on her face.

He led the way back inside the Digital Bean, opening the door for Miranda again. On the counter, her smoothie still waited for her that Gordo promised to pay. He gave the waiter the money and brought the drink to where Miranda had already seated herself.

"I like your hair," Gordo complimented as he slid into the booth.

Miranda looked down. "Thanks," she muttered. "But where's your drink?"

"I'm good. I just want to talk."

Miranda spun the glass cup on the table, staring down. "I don't know what to say."

"How about you start by telling me what you're doing back in Hillridge?"

Miranda twirled the straw around in her smoothie, copying Gordo's actions from the previous day without knowing. She did that for a minute before answering.

"I moved back here yesterday," she revealed.

Gordo widened his eyes. That had to be _fate_. First, he went to the Digital Bean for the first time in a long time and Miranda's journal showed up. Then after reading some of the entries, the next day he found out Miranda had moved back to Hillridge. All the events seemed to have happened for a reason. Going back to that cafe led him to the journal, and the journal led to Miranda. Everything would be right once Gordo could tell Lizzie that their best friend returned.

"Okay that's crazy cause yesterday Lizzie and I went to the Digital Bean for the first time in four years and now you're here."

"You haven't been to the Digital Bean in _four years_?" The disbelief in Miranda's voice oddly made Gordo sad. His face grew serious and plain.

"It's because of you, you know."

"Me?"

"The memories. They were too painful for Lizzie and I."

Miranda's eyes stared into the cup for a moment before shifting them back at Gordo. "How is she anyway?"

"She's doing fine. You know we're together now." Gordo braced himself, thinking Miranda would run out.

"That's great. I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you Miranda."

"But that's the very reason why I left," she said, sliding out of the booth.

"What do you mean?" Gordo went after her again. "Miranda, why do you keep leaving?"

She almost opened the Digital Bean door, but spun around to give a final comment before exiting. "I'll be around Gordo, I just can't do this right now."

"Miranda!" Gordo yelled as he watched her walk out. He slammed his fist on a table near by, then knew he had only one thing to do. Gordo went home to his apartment to read the journal because Miranda hinted why she left and he hoped there was an entry that explained it better. He flipped to the current page he was on and skimmed through the words, but all he read were things of little sister trouble, boring things Miranda did that day, and some random thoughts, but for some reason, she took a pause on writing about him.

"Come on," Gordo said, flipping the pages aggressively. He stopped when he found a page that said it all.

 **November 29, 2002**

 **I've had enough! Do I matter anymore? Lizzie and Gordo are getting closer every minute. I feel so left out. I feel like I've been forgotten, mainly by Gordo. I want to hangout with him alone. I just want to talk to him, but we don't do that anymore. I miss him and he never even left. I feel like Gordo is being taking away from me. I feel like I don't know him as much as I did before. I thought I was getting closer to him at the start of eighth grade, but it's the total opposite. I'm not being selfish. I'm not! I just... I'm starting to... I'm about to cry, so I don't think I can write anymore**.

After reading that, Gordo closed the journal and shut his eyes. He lay stretched out on the couch and gripped his scalp, digging his fingers deep. Pulling his curls, Gordo let out a frustrated growl. Miranda's words hit him so hard. He wanted to cry himself. He felt guilty, because now he knew Miranda left because of _him_. It made sense; everything he'd read in her journal. Gordo had been a reoccurring theme. She wrote about wanting to spend time with him alone and feeling like a third wheel between Lizzie and him. Miranda was his best friend, but Gordo didn't act like one in the eighth grade. He spent that whole school year figuring out his crush on Lizzie and because if that, his life missed four years without Miranda. She had been the ultimate third wheel victim.

 **November 30th, 2002**

 **So I've been wondering, why not me? I thought I was his best friend too. I see him everyday at school. I'm in all of his classes and he's known me for quite some time. While I may not be as cute and cool as Lizzie, I'm not totally out of the question. Right?**

So what did that mean? Gordo collectively put all he'd read together. She pretty much asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She got excited if they ever got to be alone and that one time when Lizzie got that busboy job, Miranda enjoyed the time they spent together. Just them.

In the entry he just read, Miranda compared herself to Lizzie and wondered why not her? What did that mean? And why did Miranda say she may not be as cute and cool as Lizzie? Gordo didn't have to like Miranda as more than a friend to demolish that statement. She was pretty too and _very_ cool.

If Gordo interpreted the entry correctly, and he put everything together, then there was one thing in that journal she forgot to write about. To confirm it, he'd have to talk to Miranda again. The problem was, Gordo forgot to asks _where_ in Hillridge she moved. How the heck would he be able to find her? He'd have to go search and that's what he did.

Gordo snatched his car keys off the kitchen table and practically flew to the door. He opened it and to his astonishment, there she stood in the hall of the apartment complex. They made direct eye contact.

"I'm ready to talk," Miranda spoke.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Come in," Gordo offered Miranda, stepping back and opening the door wider. It took Miranda a bit to walk in, but she did, and followed Gordo inside. He sat on the couch, but she didn't move. Miranda stared at him for awhile, then spun around towards the door. There she went again, walking out on him. To stop her, Gordo said the one question that had been on his mind.

"Miranda, do you _like_ me?" Gordo blurted out, halting her footing. He stared at her back, waiting for her voice to answer. When she didn't, he spoke again.

"Miranda do you know how sad you made Lizzie feel? Did you know she'd come to me crying everyday? You missed our class trip to Rome Miranda and Lizzie was out having fun without me. You know how nice it would have been if you had been there to keep me company while Lizzie had adventures with a guy? Do you know what you did to us Miranda?"

Gordo took a deep breath after his spiel, while Miranda didn't move at all. The long pause between them made the situation intense and dramatic. He expected her to storm out of the apartment, but Miranda switched things up; she turned around and looked at him; their eyes in perfect line with each other, locked in place.

"Yes," she confessed under a big breath. "I _did_ like you."

Not exactly Gordo's question, but still a huge clue. His interpretation of the entries had been right, but it still surprised him when she confessed it out of her own mouth. Now he had a swirl of questions floating in his brain. When did Miranda start liking him as more than a friend? How long has she liked him? Why did she like him? And the most important? Did she _still_ like him?

Now that the secret came out, everything made sense. Her journal entries about him and why she left without a goodbye. Miranda had fallen for him just the same as her best friend Lizzie, but Lizzie, she _won_. Miranda never got noticed by him, never went to the dance with him like she wanted and Gordo made things worse by pushing her away without realizing.

"Miranda," Gordo said, after taking it all in. "When you helped me get over my fear of bowling, did you like me then?" His tone was serious and his face focused on her face.

"Not really."

"What about when we were partners for that Mexico project? Is that when you developed a crush on me?"

"No, not really either."

Gordo cocked his head. "Then when did you start liking me? Was it that one time when you tried to ask me to the Sadie Hawkins? I'd like to know."

Miranda finally moved her feet and she stood closer to the couch. "How long do you have?" she asked.

"All night," he answered.

Miranda took a deep breath as she sat next to Gordo. She looked at him with intense eyes.

"Can I explain?"

"What?"

" _Everything_ ," she emphasized the word.

"Wow that's-"

"Would you listen?"

One corner of Gordo's mouth curved into a closed mouth grin. "I'll be here all night."

Miranda got more relaxed and lay her head back on the couch. Gordo watched her in deep thought; it felt comforting and though Miranda missed four years without him and Lizzie, nothing mattered but that moment then. Gordo wanted to listen to Miranda not only to learn why she left, but also for her voice. He hadn't heard it in so long, but never forgot how it sounded.

"So you knew Lizzie your whole life," Miranda started.

"Since we were in diapers," Gordo said.

"And I know we have haven't known each other _that_ long, but I still felt so close to you, up until eighth grade."

"Up until eighth grade? What does that have to do with you liking me?"

"I'm getting to that," Miranda said with a spacious smile hinted with a short laugh.

"Hey." Gordo opened his mouth and showed his teeth.

"What's wrong? What did I do?" Miranda frowned.

Gordo shook his head fast. "No, it's your laugh," he pointed out. "Lizzie missed that."

She looked opposite of him and that's when Gordo regretted his choice of words.

"I missed it too."

Miranda turned her head back. "Can I just finish explaining?"

"Sure go ahead, I'm listening."

Miranda cleared her throat. "In seventh grade you were a friend and only a friend to me Gordo. I admired you because you were _a little bit different_. But it wasn't until eighth grade when I started seeing you like a new person."

"So the Sadie Hawkins, you wanted to go with me because you liked me?"

Miranda pressed her lips together and Gordo saw a tiny year slip down her cheek that tore his heart up. He already knew some details because he read her entries written during that time, but he let her explain herself.

"I thought we could go together since Lizzie wasn't going, but you turned me down, remember?"

Miranda let her eyes linger onto his and the guilt built up inside of Gordo again.

"I don't remember really," he said. It kind of was true, because if he hadn't read about that, he wouldn't have remembered and Gordo didn't want her to know he'd been reading her journal.

"You told me 'we don't like each other like that'," Miranda reminded him.

"How did that make you feel?"

Miranda stared at her feet. He couldn't see because her hair covered her face, but Gordo had a feeling more tears fell. It got quiet and neither said a word.

"I guess I should have known better," Miranda said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Going to a dance with your best friend is so lame."

"Miranda, Lizzie was only my friend then too, remember?"

"But admit it. You wanted to be her date to a dance?"

Gordo didn't answer right away, but Miranda's stare made him crack.

"Okay yes! I had a crush on her, what do you think?"

"I knew it! You see, that was the problem. I had a pointless crush on you because I knew it'd never be reciprocated. And it's not just that. I felt like you were being pushed away from me as a best friend. I know it's not Lizzie's fault, it's just you spent so much time paying attention to her in eighth grade, we stopped being the friends we used to be."

Gordo's brain couldn't process everything; it was all too much information, too fast. "So when I admitted my feelings towards Lizzie and when you left without a goodbye, it was because of your _crush_ on me?"

"That and I was fed up being just the friend of Lizzie and Gordo. I missed when we'd hang out alone, doing random things, like talk at your house, go to the library or walk to class together."

Gordo hung his head, looking down for a moment then brought it back to meet Miranda's eyes.

"I-" That's the only word that would come out for a moment.

"I don't know what to say Miranda. I'm sorry. I'm _sorry_ I made you leave."

"Please don't blame yourself, it's all me."

"No, _I am_ going to blame myself because I wasn't a good friend to you in eighth grade. I feel guilty and angry at myself. I wish I could go back and change things, like go to that dance with you."

"Well it's too late now."

"But you're back and that's all that matters." Gordo smiled. "I've got to call Lizzie and tell her."

Miranda leaped up from the couch. "No you can't."

Gordo stood up as well. "Miranda, Lizzie should know you are here."

"I don't want her to know."

"Why Miranda? She's like your sister."

More silence between them. Miranda looked at the floor. Gordo watched her, thinking he didn't know his best friend anymore. Did she have secrets? more reasons why she left? Were they even best friends anymore?

"Miranda, why don't you want Lizzie to know you're here?"

"Because I _lied_ to her _Gordo_. I lied to her about why I went to Mexico."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her I needed to visit some family."

Gordo walked up to her so he looked her dead in the eye. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "She deserves to know the _truth_ Miranda."

Miranda's eyes averted to his hands, staring at them for a second, before pulling them off with her own hands. She stepped back, turned around and stood by the apartment door.

"Thanks for listening to me Gordo."

He walked to her and grinned. "Of course. I will always be here to listen."

Miranda nodded and made a small movement that indicated she wanted to leave. Gordo did the first thing that came into his head; he opened his arms and surrounded them around Miranda. He closed his eyes, waiting for her to hug back. At first she kept her arms down, making for a stiff embrace, but soon she touched his back and squeezed him tight. Gordo could feel the pent up hurt and heartbreak in the hug, from both sides. Gordo's came from Miranda leaving him and Lizzie alone through high school. Her's came from feeling like she lost Gordo as a friend in the eighth grade. Both had reasons to see each other in a different light than they'd ever known; reasons to see each other with anger in their eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want me to tell Lizzie you're here?" Gordo asked, standing apart from the hug.

"No, not yet. Promise me you won't?"

"Okay, but let me know when you're ready."

"I will." Miranda opened the door.

"I'll see you later Miranda, right?" Gordo hoped.

Miranda turned her head to look back, giving only the tiniest smile, but the hurt cleared from her face. Even though she didn't answer and left in a hurry, Gordo knew he'd see her again. He _wanted_ to see her again, so she could explain more and give better details than her journal did because Gordo decided he'd stop reading it. Now that she came back, he didn't like the idea of reading Miranda's personal thoughts. What she explained, he already knew and that wasn't fair to Miranda. So Gordo took the journal out of his pocket and stuffed it under the couch cushions; a familiar place and where it belonged for now.

Gordo's eventful day was winding down and he felt like he needed a long shower to finish it off. Just after he stepped out of the bathroom, Gordo heard light knock on the apartment door; he perked. There was no way Miranda was back that quick. _No_ _way_. That was not possible. But for a little bit, Gordo hoped it was her, until he opened the door and saw Lizzie looking out of breath.

"Is something wrong?" Gordo asked. "You look anxious."

"Can I come in?" Lizzie asked.

"My apartment's always open," Gordo said. She walked inside, sitting on the exact spot Miranda had been sitting at.

"So what's up?" Gordo asked, sitting next to her.

"Can you explain to me in better detail what happened the day before our trip to Rome? When you and Miranda were talking about me and she left and that was the last time you saw her."

"Oh so _now_ you're curious about what happened to your best friend." Gordo smirked.

"Gordo, you know I was always curious," Lizzie said. "Now would you like to explain what happened please?"

Gordo sighed. "Okay, let me remember exactly."

Gordo remembered hearing Miranda would not be joining the class trip to Rome; instead she'd be in Mexico visiting family. Since she had announced it last minute, Gordo and Lizzie didn't get to spend time with her before they all left for their respective trips. Gordo had seen Lizzie talking to Miranda, saying their goodbyes and hugging. He watched from the sidelines, wanting to say his own goodbyes to Miranda. When Lizzie walked off, looking disappointed, Gordo took his chance.

 _"It's a shame you won't be coming with us to Rome Miranda," Gordo said, walking up to her locker. She took books out and shoved them in her messenger bag._

 _"I'm sure you guys will still have fun without me."_

 _"Miranda don't say that. Lizzie and I will miss you a lot."_

 _Miranda ripped pictures off her locker door, crumpled them and tossed them in a near by trash; including a picture of the trio. Gordo shifted his feet and put his arms behind his back._

 _"Miranda, can I get your advice on something?"_

 _She stopped tearing photos and opened her mouth, smiling at Gordo._

 _"You want my advice?" She pointed to herself. "Yeah sure what is it?"_

 _Gordo scratched the back of his neck and held his hand there for a moment. He rubbed the spot then slid his hand off. There was no other way to say what he wanted then to just say it._

 _"I think you're the first person I tell," Gordo began, taking a deep breath._

 _"Tell what?" Miranda leaned in._

 _"That I like Lizzie as more than a friend and I want to do something about it. What should I do?"_

 _Miranda's mouth turned into a straight line and her eyebrows pointed downwards._

 _"I'm happy you finally admitted that Gordo," she said, adjusting her bag strap on her shoulder. "But I don't know how to help you."_

 _Miranda's locker almost shook the school down when she slammed it shut. The piercing clank, that stung Gordo's ears made him shudder. He blinked at Miranda, shocked at what she had done. He wanted to say something, but soon Miranda became a tiny figure down the hall. All he wanted was some advice on what to do about his crush on Liz_ zie; _he never expected Miranda to take it in such a negative way. Now she was leaving for Mexico and Gordo didn't get a proper goodbye_.

"So that was it?" Lizzie said, when Gordo finished recalling that memory. "She just left?"

"Mhm. That locker slam really took me by surprise.

Lizzie rubbed her face. "That doesn't make sense. Me and Miranda had a totally different conversation."

"What did she say to you?"

"She told me she had to visit family there and that she hadn't seen them since she was four years old. Then I said I'd miss her and wished she could come with us to Rome. For some reason she started crying and then we hugged. It's like she knew she was never coming back."

Gordo looked at his girlfriend's serious eyes, knowing the _real_ reason why Miranda went to Mexico. Lizzie should know the truth. She should know her best friend lied to her. Gordo made a promise to Miranda _not_ to tell; breaking that promise would ruin their friendship that was being rebuilt. But keeping something so important from Lizzie pained Gordo.

"Lizzie, Miranda didn't go to Mexico just to visit family..." Gordo started, but changed his mind and said, "Lizzie, maybe Miranda had a good reason for leaving."

Lizzie squinted. "Gordo is there something you know that I should?"

Gordo shook his head fast, whipping his curls around. "No no, of course not. I would never keep things from you."

But Gordo _was_ keeping things from Lizzie and lying to his girlfriend made him sick and disgusted with himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six  
**  
Gordo brought his guilt sickness to his job the next day and it impaired his work ethic. He burnt the first batch of popcorn, flooded the counter with soda, spilled a pile of straws on the floor and dropped six boxes of M&M's. Thankfully, nobody saw his mistakes and he fixed them before anymore could. Re-popping popcorn and picking what spilled onto the floor took longer than expected and by the time he got to wiping the counter, the movie theater opened. Gordo mumbled nonsense words of frustration as he soaked up the soda, while a crowd bombarded the lobby.

"I'd ask for soda, but I think the counter drank it all up," a voice joked.

Gordo stopped wiping to see the face that matched the voice. His frustration disappeared in a second when he discovered the person behind the joke.

"Miranda," Gordo said, smiling. "How did you find me?"

She put her hands on her hips. "Gordo, I've been to this theater thousands of times and I know this is one of your favorite places." Miranda tried keeping a serious face, but a smile broke through. "Plus, I saw you here the other day."

Gordo gasped. "I knew it. I knew I saw someone familiar."

"I can't believe you didn't realize it was me," Miranda said, a little disappointment in her voice.

"Well, it just, with your new hairstyle it's hard to recognize you. I'm sorry."

"No, no I totally get it." Miranda showed him a reassuring smile.

He smiled back. "So you came here to see a movie?" he asked, continuing to wipe the counter.

"No, I came to talk to you again," Miranda said.

Gordo paused, holding the towel in place on the counter. "Really?"

"I've got more to say."

"And I've got more to listen." Gordo tossed the towel down and walked around the counter so he could be closer to Miranda.

"But you've got work," Miranda said.

"I know." Gordo turned around and put his hand up. "Hey Dustin, cover for me?"he asked the guy behind the counter who had just walked in. Dustin have Gordo a thumbs up.

"So what? You're not going to do your job?" Miranda asked.

"I have something more important to do." Gordo stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked past Miranda.

"Oh so you don't want to talk to me anymore?"

Gordo paused and turned around. He flashed a wide grin.

"That's the 'more important' thing I have to do."

Miranda's soft, disappointed face slowly turned into a smile.

"Come on," Gordo said, waving his arms and walking towards the doors.

"Where are we going?" Miranda asked, catching up to him.

"To the park." Gordo pushed the door opened. "Where you can't tell me _all_ about your crush on me in the eighth grade."

"Hey!" Miranda whacked the back of his head, but Gordo knew she was joking; like old times when Miranda used to push and punch him or whack him on the head playfully. Now that she had done it again, it really felt like she'd never left. Maybe everything happened so Gordo could make up for pushing Miranda away in eighth grade; the universe gave him a second chance and Gordo wanted to take it so the trio could rebuild their friendship.

In the car, on their way to Hillridge park, Gordo glanced at Miranda a few times to catch her gazing out the window with a familiar smile he recognized. It was the smile she used when they were hanging together like they did a lot in seventh grade. Thinking about missing that smile for four years made Gordo sigh and not being able to tell Lizzie about Miranda's return got him so frustrated, he slapped the steering wheel. Miranda jumped in the passenger's seat.

"Sorry about that," Gordo said, glancing at her.

"Are you okay?" Miranda asked.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Gordo drove his car into the parking lot by Hillridge park.

"Look we're here," he said, opening the car door for Miranda. "You want to sit on that bench over there?"

Gordo pointed at a bench under tree, shaded from the sun.

"That's perfect," Miranda said, following him.

Gordo sat down with her and unbuttoned the collar of his working polo so he wouldn't suffocate from the heat. He settled back onto the bench and rested his hands on his knees.

"So when exactly did you start liking me?" he asked.

"I told you remember? In eighth grade."

"But exactly _how_ did it happen? Because you said you only saw me as a friend in seventh grade?"

"I know." Miranda sighed. "But I guess it happened when I saw how much you changed in eighth grade. You seemed different than you were in seventh grade. You became more silly, goofy and playful and I liked that. I liked being around that version of you. You weren't spitting out facts our talking about homework, you were just being Gordo."

Gordo curved the corners of his mouth up slowly and squinted his blue eyes at Miranda. "So does that mean you thought I was...cute?"

"Well duh Gordo," Miranda said, pushing his shoulder.

"But I wasn't cute in seventh grade?" he kept teasing.

Miranda rolled her eyes then said, "Let's just say you got _cuter_."

Gordo raised his eyebrows and smiled. He pulled his head back slightly and laughed; he missed their teasing.

"Because you know your hair was longer and...hey?" Miranda opened her mouth and pointed to his head.

"What?" Gordo touched his hair.

"You kept it long," Miranda said. "I thought for sure you'd have it short."

"Well you did tell me not to cut it," he said.

"You remember that?"

"Don't you see the evidence?" Gordo pointed two fingers at his hair.

Miranda covered her face with her hands and laughed. Gordo watched her and grinned. Knowing how she felt about him in eighth grade changed the way he saw her. He thought about the times when he thought Lizzie would never like him back, not knowing at the same time Miranda had a crush on him. Maybe it would have lifted his spirits. At least he would have known _someone_ liked him.

"So that's it? You just started seeing me different?" Gordo asked.

"Well it wasn't just that. It's when you started paying attention to Lizzie. I could see the way you looked at her. I guess I wondered why not me? You know? Why wasn't _I_ good enough to be noticed? Why wasn't I pretty enough to be admired? Why couldn't I have Gordo the way Lizzie does?"

Miranda's words stung Gordo. His heart shattered into splinter sized pieces. He wished he could go back in time and change the way he treated Miranda, but what could he have done since he had a crush on Lizzie? Miranda was good at disguising her feelings and emotions, there really wasn't anything he could have done. At least nothing he could have done about her crush, but definitely something he could have done about their _friendship_.

"Miranda." He turned serious, narrowing his eyebrows. "Do you still like me?"

"I don't think I could Gordo. We haven't see each other in four years. Not mention you and Lizzie are together."

"Okay, but can I do this?" Gordo gently grabbed the sides of her face and kissed Miranda.

"What was that?" Miranda said, astonished.

"I kissed you."

"I know but why did you kiss me?"

"For your eighth grade self. Sorry it's four years too late."

Miranda raised her eyebrows. "You mean you would have kiss me then?"

"No," Gordo admitted."But now that I know how you felt, I thought you deserved a kiss."

Miranda shook her head a bunch and buried her face in her hands.  
"You shouldn't have done that Gordo. Now Lizzie's going to hate me even more."

Miranda sprung from the bench and walked away. Since she didn't run, Gordo could have chased after her as usual, but this time he didn't bother. He was used to her leaving, he thought maybe that's how things should be.

Gordo sighed and decided to drive to the Style Shack where Lizzie worked. He didn't know exactly what he would do when he got there, but he had the urge to tell Lizzie about the recent events. His mind focused on the present. He forgot about his job. He forgot about his promise to Miranda. Gordo pushed the Style Shack's doors open and rushed to where Lizzie hung clothes on a rack.

"Don't be mad, but I kissed Miranda," Gordo tossed the sentence out of his mouth.

Lizzie turned her head casually. "Miranda who?"

Gordo felt his brain blow up. He pushed his head out and his eyes formed into saucers.

" _Miranda_. Miranda _Sanchez_ ," Gordo clarified, although it dawned on him that had to explain.

"Miranda?!" Lizzie exclaimed in a high pitched tone. "How in the world could you kiss Miranda?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, but I have an explanation," Gordo pleaded.

"No, how could you kiss her when she's not even here?"

Gordo moved his eyes to the side, looking at a mannequin dressed in a Union Jack tee. "Because she _is_ here," he told her.

"What?!" Lizzie shrieked, dropping a blouse on the ground. "Miranda's _here_? As in _Hillridge_? How? When? Why?"

Gordo touched both her arms. "Lizzie, calm down. I'll explain."

Lizzie breathed in and out, brushing her bangs to the sides of her face. "Yeah you'd better."

"Okay listen, the day after we went back to the Digital Bean, I bumped into Miranda. _Literally_."

"And you never told me?!" Lizzie exclaimed.

"Miranda didn't want me to. She's been telling me the _real_ reason she went to Mexico."

"The _real_ reason?"

Gordo closed his eyes, sighing. Was he really doing this? Breaking Miranda's promise? Losing her trust after starting to become friends again? Yeah, he was.

"Miranda liked me in the eighth grade and thought you were taking me away from her. I guess she needed to get away. Then earlier today, we talked at the park. After she explained more about her crush on me, I gave her a little kiss. It was meant to be a kiss four years late. I just thought she'd liked that. Kind of my apology to her."

Lizzie bent down to pick up the blouse aggressively. She hooked it on the rack, folded her arms and gritted her teeth. Gordo observed her narrow eyes. Lizzie bit her lip and fiddle around with the rack of clothes.

"Sorry Lizzie, I shouldn't have done that."

"No that was sweet of you."

"Sweet?"

Lizzie put her arms to her side and relaxed her face. "Gordo it's time for me to reveal something too. Miranda told me about her crush on you a month before she left. I can't believe she lied to me."

"So you're not mad?"

"No I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at _her_."

"Wait so _you_ knew she had a crush on me?" Gordo exclaimed.

"Sorry Gordo, us girls had to keep our secrets."

Gordo threw his arms up and flopped them back down. "I just feel so out of everything now. Am I really that dumb?"

"You're not dumb Gordo. You can't help the fact that you had a crush on me and not Miranda."

"But I'm still her friend Lizzie. She was counting on me to be there for her."

"So you actually forgive her?" Lizzie put a hand on her hip, raising her brow.

"You mean you don't?" Gordo couldn't believe what Lizzie was saying, especially when she just shrugged.

"Are you saying if Miranda walked through those doors right now, you wouldn't run up to her and give her a hug?"

Lizzie folded her arms, staring at Gordo. At that exact moment, the Style Shack's doors opened and walked right in? Miranda Sanchez. Gordo whipped his head to see her. His ability to make her appear almost frightened him. Miranda froze at the entrance. The trio was back in the same room together, but it wasn't at all how he hoped the reunion would be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"Check this out. All three of us are at the same place. Can you believe that?" Gordo said, hoping to get the girls to give each other a reuniting hug or at least speak to each other. He looked to Miranda standing by the doorway. She put up the hood from her sweatshirt, but didn't move. Gordo then turned to Lizzie, who looked more hurt than angry at Miranda. He zipped his head from one friend to another like someone viewing a table tennis game. When it was clearly obvious none of the girls wanted to speak, move or do _anything_ , Gordo stepped in, standing next to Lizzie.

"Don't you want to say something to Miranda?" Gordo said. Lizzie glared at him before facing Miranda.

"Yeah I do," Lizzie said, folding her arms as she walked to Miranda. "I can't believe you lied to me."

"You told her Gordo?" Miranda shouted. "And you promised you wouldn't!"

"Miranda I'm sorry but Lizzie deserves to know!"

Lizzie stomped her feet closer to Miranda, standing directly in front of her.

"How could you tell Gordo that I was taking him away from you? You know I'm not that kind of person!"

Miranda peered around Lizzie to gape at Gordo.

"I never said that! Gordo why would you tell her that?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. I just meant to tell her you felt like a third wheel."

"Well it doesn't matter, because you broke my promise. I really trusted you Gordo." Miranda starting heading out the Style Shack. "I think it was a huge mistake coming back here."

Gordo ran up to her, putting his hands on her arms. "That's not true Miranda."

Miranda thrusted her body away from him. "No! Get away from me. I hate you!"

The Style Shack's doors flew open and Miranda ran out, down the sidewalk. Gordo frowned, then turned to Lizzie. He gave her soft eyes, waiting for her to say something, but she shook her head and left the Style Shack in the opposite direction of Miranda, leaving Gordo standing alone with people gawking at him.

Gordo looked as the Style Shack's doors and didn't hesitate to run out to see if he could catch up with either Lizzie or Miranda, but they weren't visible. He shook his head and kicked his sneaker on the cement. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked to his car, giving up. Giving up on chasing after Miranda and stopping her from leaving.

That was until he got home. In his anger and frusturation, Gordo dug Miranda's journal out of the couch cushions. He looked at the etched lettering in the corner one last time, then he threw the book to the floor. It tumbled across the living room, but a page flew out.

Gordo held his head, screaming internally. He knelt down to pick up the journal. He eyed the page that got torn out by his own doing. It was written front and back, in small handwriting; every line filled. The heading read: _**A Letter I'll Never Deliver.**_ Gordo stood to his feet and backed up to the couch. Sitting down, he began to read the letter.

 **A Letter I'll Never Deliver**

 **Gordo, Gordo, Gordo. Where do I begin? First of all that nickname? How did I not realize that "gordo" means fat in Spanish? I don't know, but it's funny and I love it. It's weird calling you David, because your Gordo. Just Gordo.**

 **Gordo my friend. My best friend. Gordo the most interesting, unique, weird (in a good way) person I know on this entire planet. Gordo the person I find myself thinking about as I lay awake and I don't know why.**

 **Gordo, you are so special to me and my life. You've changed the way I see things. You've changed the way I see the world. But most importantly, you've changed the way I see you. Thanks a lot for that by the way, because now I'm struggling with watching you and Lizzie slowly become more than friends and wishing that it was me. But oh well, you need a friend to be there for you when you and Lizzie get together. So I guess I'm that person.**

 **Anyway, I'm writing this letter to you even though I'll never give it, because I want to tell you this, but I'd never have the real courage to do it. So Gordo, you should know, I've got a crush on you. A real one. A crush that I think I've gone too deep in. But you'll never know about it. Oh and by the way, thank you for existing.**

 **-Miranda**

 **(Oh and I wrote a song for you. It's in this journal on the next page. Even though you'll never hear me sing it. )**

 _Wow_. That was all Gordo thought. Having a song written about you was _deep_. It means personal thoughts and feelings about yourself were put into lyrics, with music and a melody. Gordo had been thought up of in a _form of art_ and it was supposed to be sung in the beautiful voice of Miranda Sanchez. Gordo opened the journal and flipped to the page with the song.

 ** _Wouldn't You Know?_**

 **By Miranda Sanchez**

 **Hey, I've known you for quite sometime**

 **but you were just a friend kind of guy**

 **I never saw you as anything more**

 **But then things started to change**

 **My brain started to rearrange**

 **You weren't the same guy I used to know**

 **I saw you different**

 **I saw you grow**

 **Wouldn't you know?**

 **I'm falling for you too**

 **I'm starting see why she's so fond of you**

 **It's the way you smile**

 **Your eyes shines bright**

 **Oh wouldn't you know**

 **I just might**

 **Be falling hard for you**

 **Hey, it's difficult for me to say how I feel**

 **But I think my crush for you is so real**

 **If only you felt the same way**

 **Wouldn't you know?**

 **I'm falling for you too**

 **I'm starting see why she's so fond of you**

 **It's the way you smile**

 **Your eyes shines bright**

 **Oh wouldn't you know**

 **I just might**

 **Be falling hard for you**

"What a sweet song," Gordo said. He imagined Miranda sitting in her bedroom, maybe with a guitar, singing those lyrics and it made him almost tear up because he knew she most likely cried while writing the song.

Gordo closed the journal, but kept the letter folded into his pants pocket. Then something occurred to him. He remembered he hadn't visited his parents' house in a while due to them being shrinks and were super busy all the time. His mother always insisted he was welcome anytime, but whenever he called, they didn't have time to have there son come over. He decided to take the chance then by phoning in and if they weren't busy for once, he could discuss the Miranda situation. He didn't know how much details he'd give, but he did want to mention her return to Hillridge and the incident at the Style Shack. Being that his parents were shrinks, he'd get lengthy advice on the matter.

Even though Gordo only moved out a year ago, he hardly ever went back to his childhood home and he knew stepping foot in there again would set off more memories. Miranda spent time there when they were paired together for projects. The trio had movie nights in Gordo's theater room and played games in the huge dining room. But perhaps the most notable memory to Gordo was in eighth grade, _February_ _13th, a day before Valentine's Day._

 _Gordo was in his bedroom reading a book while simultaneously whacking his hacking sack; every so often he bent down to pick up the hacky sack when he messed up (but that rarely happened). Only one could do that for so long, so he put the book on his desk and threw his hacky sack on the bed. Being an only child was very boring for Gordo at times. Even when Lizzie and Miranda always complained about how annoying their younger siblings were, Gordo still wished he had someone to do stuff with while his parents had sessions in the home._

 _The real reason Gordo had been doing two things at once was to distract himself from the thought of Lizzie kissing that paper boy, Ronnie. He failed so hard. He still caught himself thinking of what he had witnessed when he was on his way to the McGuire's to give Lizzie a cd. Why Lizzie kissing another guy bothered him so much, he didn't know, but it got him agitated. He wanted to hangout with someone to get his mind off of it, so he decided to call Miranda. As he was bout to dial her number, four soft knocks came from the outside of Gordo's bedroom door. He scrunched his eyebrows as he set the phone down to see who was knocking. It couldn't be his mom or dad; they were working. He was surprised when he saw a distraught Miranda with her arms hugged against her chest, at the doorway._

 _"Are you okay?" Gordo said in a loud, but concerned voice._

 _Miranda shook her head as she walked in his room. She sat on his bed and thus began one of her famous rants. "It's Lizzie and Ronnie and this stupid holiday," she growled._

 _"Is that all?" Gordo asked, sitting with her. He knew that wasn't all._

 _"Lizzie said I'm jealous of her and Ronnie because she has a boyfriend and I don't. But that's the total opposite! I'm just annoyed because she's gone loco over this guy she only knew for like a day!"_

 _Miranda stomped a foot on the floor and huffed out a heavy breath. Gordo never knew what to do when Miranda got irritable, but it was best to agree with her and he did agree with her. One hundred percent. Lizzie's sudden struck from Cupid bothered him too._

 _"Don't worry Miranda, I agree with you. Just try to calm down," Gordo comforted._

 _"I can't," Miranda said, thumping her back on the bed and bouncing in the air. "I'm so mad at her." She put her hands on her face and screamed._

 _"Fine then we'll be angry together." Gordo flopped back on the bed._

 _Gordo never related to Miranda more. That was one of the best things about being her friend. He always had someone to rant with; something he never did with Lizzie. It was their special thing. Granted, they usually ranted about Lizzie, so they were stuck with each other on that part, but still, he liked that._

 _"Valentine's Day sucks," Miranda said. "Because if you don't have a boyfriend then it's completely meaningless."_

 _Gordo turned his head on the bed, looking at her face as she stared at the ceiling. "You know love's not exclusive to boyfriends and girlfriends. There's love in friendships."_

 _Miranda jerked her head at him. Her face brightened. Gordo wondered what he said to change her mood._

 _"So our friendship, it has love?" she asked._

 _"A form of it."_

 _Miranda looked up at the ceiling, smiling from ear to ear._

 _"What?" Gordo formed a tiny smile._

 _"Nothing." Miranda looked at him again and they exchanged smiles._

"Now I know why she smiled," Gordo said in his car as he pulled into his parents' home. When he called to let them know he was coming, no one answered, but he decided to go anyway because he knew they had an off day. He got out of his car and walked up the steps to the house he lived in his whole life. He pressed the door bell and it buzzed in his ear. Gordo's father opened the door and his eyes grew and his mustache curved upwards.

"David," his dad, Howard cheered. "What a surprise, usually you call first."

Gordo walked in the house. "I tried to, but you guys never answered. I knew you guys weren't working so I just came anyway."

"Oh sorry about that, we're changing phone lines," Howard said. "Have a seat David."

Gordo's parents always managed to make him feel like a patient.

"Roberta, David's here," Howard called. Gordo's mom showed up in the living room where they sat. She rushed to Gordo for a hug. When she pulled back, she studied his face.

"What's wrong David?"

"It's about Miranda isn't it?" Howard said out of the blue.

"Whoa. I know you guys are shrinks and all, but how did you know about that?" Gordo said.

"We happened to by physics too," Howard joked. Roberta smiled at him.

"Mrs. Sanchez called," Roberta said, debunking Gordo's amazement.

"Really? What did she say?"

"Just that they're finally back in town," Roberta told him.

"That's all?"

Howard leaned forward, shifting on the couch. "Why David? What happened? Didn't you three reunite?"

Gordo rubbed the back of his neck. "Kind of."

"David, we can't help you if you don't give us enough information," Howard said.

Gordo sighed and caught the eye of both his parents. He agreed to himself not to say much about Miranda and the occurrences of the past few days, but Gordo was having trouble figuring things out on his own and he needed the help from his parents.

"Listen, it's really confusing," Gordo told them.

"I'm sure your father and I can handle it," Roberta said.

"Go ahead David, we're listening," Howard encouraged.

"Okay it started when Lizzie and I went to the Digital Bean a few days ago. We reminisced and pondered about Miranda. Stuff we've been doing for the past four years. We had a movie night at Lizzie's apartment and that's when I found Miranda's journal. I don't know what it was doing there, but I took it home with me. I read it. I read her personal thoughts. As I did, things began to make sense. Miranda leaving, it was _my_ fault the entire time. I'd always been mad at her for doing that to me and Lizzie, but I found out I should have been mad at myself."

"How was it your fault David?" Howard wondered.

"Because, Miranda _liked_ me. As more than a friend. But you know I liked Lizzie for the longest time. She felt left out, a third wheel, _alone_. _I_ let her go mom and dad. _I_ made her feel like she didn't matter." Gordo's voice cracked when he really realized what he had done. Like _really_.

"Then I bumped into her the next day and we started talking. She explained everything to me. It was more clear when it came out of her mouth than when I had read her written words."

"So, does she still like you?" Roberta asked.

Gordo shook his head. "No. She told me she couldn't since we've been apart for four years. She was very supportive of me and Lizzie then and is now. Miranda is great like that."

"So what is the problem then?"

"The problem is, she lied to Lizzie. Her best friend. Her _sister_. Miranda told her she had to go Mexico because of family issues, when really she was tired of living in a Gordo and Lizzie centered life."

"Can you blame her?" Roberta said.

"Of course not. In eighth grade all my attention was _so_ focused on Lizzie. I'd do the same if I were her."

"So the three of you _didn't_ reunite?" Howard asked.

"We all happened to be at the Style Shack, but it ended so wrong. Now Lizzie hates Miranda, Miranda hates me. And I'm stuck in the middle."

Robert and Howard eyed each other. "If you were all really meant to be friends, do you think you would have found her journal or run into her David? Don't you think this is happening for a reason?" Roberta said.

"I did wonder that myself. But I don't think the three of us can look at each other the same. We have so much anger in all of us, it would be so hard to let go and move on from everything. It's frustrates me why Miranda couldn't have just told the truth in eighth grade and then we could have solved the issue, you know? I still have emotions inside of me that I can't get rid of just yet. I have Lizzie as a girlfriend. A wonderful girlfriend, but over the four years, a part of me was missing."

"David, you have a special relationship with Miranda. Don't throw it all away. Don't give up on that friendship," Howard insisted.

"It's kind of hard when your the only person who wants to try and the other half hates you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Three days passed, Gordo hadn't talked to Lizzie about the incident at the Style Shack. They barely even spoke to each other at all. Gordo didn't worry though. Both were busy with work, summer assignments, and processing the Miranda ordeal. He tried giving Lizzie space. He _wanted_ to give her space, but the silence between them made him uncomfortable because there was obviously something that needed to be addressed. So Gordo phoned Lizzie, asking her to come to his apartment.

Lizzie agreed, expecting they'd be watching movies, so when she arrived she brought DVDs and snacks. Gordo smiled, glad to see her, but still letting her believe they were there just to hangout and not to talk about Miranda. He sat on the couch as Lizzie popped in the movie, then she curled up next to her boyfriend. Throughout the beginning of the film, Gordo tried interrupting to bring up the trio's reunion, but Lizzie's content expression made him change his mind. Then, when they were far too deep into the movie, he chose to give it a rest. Until Lizzie paused the movie for a bathroom break. When she came back, Gordo held the remote to keep her from resuming the film.

"Gordo? What are you doing?" Lizzie asked, eyes turned into slits. She saw right through him.

"Lizzie, we _need_ to talk about it," Gordo calmly demanded.

"About what?" Lizzie avoided his eyes as she sat back down.

"Come on, you know _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

"There is nothing to say." Lizzie looked away.

"So Miranda comes back, you find out she lied to you, we reunite and you have _nothing_ to say?"

Gordo stared at the back if Lizzie's head and didn't say anything for a while. He sighed and lay his head back into the couch, sinking deep. He glanced at Lizzie with disappointment. Gordo knew Lizzie was better than how she was acting. She was the type of person to speak up and try her best to resolve issues. She was _not_ the type who ignored questions and refused to talk. It just wasn't like her at all. Maybe it had to do with the situation being such a _big deal._ It wasn't just a little fight between friends. It was something worth four years in the making. Gordo almost wanted to resume the movie, but Lizzie finally turned around.

"I could go off at Miranda," she started. "I could say many mean, hurtful things about her. After all, she lied to me and then left us and I'm still very mad at her, but you lied to me too Gordo."

"No I didn't. I'd _never_ lie to you," Gordo squealed.

"Yes you did Gordo. Remember when I asked you if you knew something I should know? But you said no."

Yes. Yes he did.

"I'm sorry I just-"

"Well you _did_ know something. You knew Miranda was back. You had conversations with her. You _kissed_ her. So you lied Gordo. You are keeping things from me."

"You weren't even mad about the kiss!" Gordo shot back.

"You right, I wasn't mad and I'm still not because I know why you did it. But Gordo, you know I've always felt like Miranda's _sister_. You know how I felt about her leaving and yet when she finally comes back, you don't tell me? Gordo, you're not the only person who cares about her. You're not the _only_ person who wondered where she went."

"What the heck are you saying?" Gordo got defensive.

"I'm saying you're acting like Miranda's all _yours_. Like it's your little mystery on finding out what happened."

"But I _did_ find out what happened. If you really knew what I read you'd really feel for Miranda."

"What you _read_? What do you mean..."

"Nothing, nothing." Gordo shook his curls.

"There you go again!" Lizzie shrieked, dangling her arms in the air.

"I said its nothing! Can't you just leave it at that?"

Lizzie shook her head and stood up, gesturing towards the door.

"What?" Gordo said.

Lizzie just stared at him.

"What?" he demanded.

"You seemed to care about Miranda more than me."

Gordo almost exploded off the couch. He couldn't even fathom the words coming out of Lizzie's mouth. He was irritable at first, but now he was full of rage.

"Lizzie, Miranda's my friend too. I can't care for her like I care about you? Or my mom and dad? Huh? I'm not allowed to be close to her because she's your best friend and she's a girl?"

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Sure sounds like it."

"Gordo I just want to be sure there's nothing _more_ going on between you two."

Gordo had to stand up now. He felt like he couldn't defend himself sitting down.

"Oh because dare I be friends with another girl!"

"Well we were friends Gordo and now we're together."

"That doesn't mean the same is going to happen with Miranda!"

"How do you know?"

"Because, I love Miranda as a _friend_. A _best friend_. But I guess I'm not allowed too."

Gordo brushed passed Lizzie, heading to the door.

"Where you going?" Lizzie said.

Gordo twisted his neck to look back at her. "You can stay here if you want, but I'm going to talk to Miranda's parents."

Gordo left Lizzie at his apartment to asks his parents where the Sanchez's lived. They knew from when Daniella phoned Roberta about the family's return to Hillridge. They gave Gordo the address and he drove around town to find their little apartment. Once he arrived and starting walking inside the building, he prayed Miranda wasn't home so he could talk to her parents alone.

Gordo found the hallway of their apartment and braced himself as he knocked. No answer. He tried again, louder. He heard footsteps narrowing towards the door. Gordo stepped back and Edward Sanchez was revealed.

"Gordo," Edward cheered. "It's good to see you."

"Edward who's at the door?" Gordo heard Daniella call.

"It's Gordo, Daniella!" Edward waved his hand, motioning Gordo to come closer. A second later, Daniella popped up and she looked as if she was about to tackle Gordo, but she just gave him a tremendous hug. He grinned so hard as he hugged her back. Seeing Miranda's parents again was just as incredible as seeing Miranda herself.

"Please come in Gordo," Daniella said. Gordo followed Edward and Daniella inside. "Sorry it's a mess."

The apartment had boxes scattered everywhere. The counter was covered and the couch had piles of clothes on it. The moment Gordo had stepped into the apartment, an aroma tingled his nose.

"Remember when I helped you and Miranda make tamales for a school project?" Daniella reminded him. Gordo sniffed. He knew the smell was familiar.

"I remember you two had so much fun cooking together," Daniella added.

"Yeah we did." Gordo grinned with teeth showing. Daniella brought out three plates and began to dish up the tamales.

"So is Miranda around?" Gordo asked, sitting at the table with Edward and Daniella and loaded a fork full of the tamale into his mouth.

"She went out," Edward told him. "So if you wanted to see her, you'll have to wait."

"Actually, could I ask you guys something?"

"Anything Gordo," Edward said.

"You know why Miranda wanted to go to Mexico right?"

"Of course Gordo. We're her parents."

Gordo poked around at the tamale. "Do you think she still wants to be friends?"

Edward set his fork down. "For now, Miranda needs space. She's been through a lot in the last four years."

"Like what?"

Daniella joined in conversation. "Aside from her complicated friendship with you, Miranda had terrible break up in her junior year. A guy from her school in Mexico. Then she dropped out of college this past year."

Gordo dropped his fork onto the plate with a clank. His stomach no longer hungered for another bite of the tamales.

"Would you guys mind me waiting here for Miranda?" he asked.

"I guess so," Edward agreed. "But Miranda needs some time to herself right now. Moving back to Hillridge was a lot for her. She was afraid to see you guys again. Afraid you and Lizzie would hate her."

"I get it." Gordo's head drooped down. "I just want to say one last thing to her."

"That's fine," Daniella said, standing up and walking to Gordo. "While you wait, you can help us unpack," she joked. Oh, he loved that his relationship with Miranda's parent hadn't changed after all those years.

...

Gordo hung around at the Sanchez's apartment for another hour before Miranda came back. She walked in where Gordo sat relaxed on the couch. He watched her try to say something quietly to her mom, but he could hear her.

"What is he doing here?" Miranda said in a whisper-yell.

"He wants to talk to you one last time before he gives you space," Daniella said in a normal tone.

"I don't want to talk to him."

"Please, Mija. Talk to Gordo," Daniella insisted.

Miranda sighed before walking to the couch. Gordo moved so he sat up straighter. He grinned for a moment, glad to see her after three days, but the smile disappeared.

"I'm sorry about your break up Miranda."

"How'd you know about that?"

"Um, you're mom told me."

Miranda rubbed her face. "That relationship was so bad. I was trying to forget about it."

"Sorry." Gordo looked down sheepishly. "Why was it so bad? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"The guy I dated reminded me too much of you. He had dark curly hair. He was your height and he even had an interest in _filming_. I ended up calling him Gordo so many times, he got annoyed. We broke up because he thought I already had a boyfriend back in Hillridge."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry you had to drop out of college."

"Drop out of college? How do you even know I about that?" Miranda said in a loud, defensive tone.

Gordo looked sheepishly at her again. "You're mom."

Miranda flew her arms up. "What is this? My mom's telling you my whole life story? What's next? You'll know my every thought from eighth grade or something?"

Oh no. The last one was true. Gordo did know her thoughts from the eighth grade because of her journal. He felt much more guilty than before.

"Miranda, I'm sorry if it seems like I'm prying..." Gordo hung his head and no longer fought with the guilt. "Miranda I found your journal at Lizzie's apartment and I started reading it. I'm sorry. The song you wrote about me was so amazing though."

Gordo locked eyes with Miranda. A staring contest happened before she shouted, "Go!"

"Miranda I-"

"Just go!" she snapped.

Gordo left the Sanchez's apartment in a hurry and he regretted every decision he ever made that had to do with Miranda.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

When Gordo got back to his apartment, Lizzie was gone. She took the DVDs and snacks home with her. He didn't expect her to stay, but a part of him wanted her to so he could have someone to distract him from crying. Gordo thought of another distraction when he saw his fixed video camera on the coffee table. He picked it up, pointed the lens at his face and started recording. He wouldn't press stop, no matter what come out of his mouth.

 _Gordo talking to his video camera:_

 **Hey, what's up. It's Gordo here and I'm going to tell you my life story. I was born in California and raised by two great parents, Roberta and Howard... Oh who am I kidding? Who wants to hear that?**

 **This is David Gordon and I'm going to tell you about my friendship with Miranda Sanchez and Lizzie McGuire.**

 **Here we go.**

 **I've known Lizzie since we were babies. We grew up together, our parents were friends, and we always went to the same school. Lizzie and I have always got on well. In our early days of knowing each other, I remember we were like brother and sister. She had even told me once that I was her true brother instead of Matt, her blood brother. But quickly, the brother and sister phase went away. We saw each other more as a boy and a girl who were best friends.**

 **In first grade, we met Miranda Sanchez, a very witty six year old who'd just moved to Hillridge. The three of us had the same teacher, Mrs. Rosanna, room 205. Now I don't remember much about my first encounter with Miranda, as I was just six years old, but Daniella Sanchez told me, on that day Miranda begged her parents to let me come home with them. Apparently she had so much fun ruining my drawing that day, she couldn't wait to do it again.**

 **Whenever I hear that story, I can picture the three of us, sitting at a small round table, coloring. Lizzie tries so hard to stay in the lines, I follow Mrs. Rossana's rules and Miranda, she's not even coloring. When I turn around to listen to the teacher, she takes a black marker and scribbles over my picture I worked so hard on. After I notice and get frustrated, Lizzie tells Miranda she shouldn't have done that but Miranda fights back and says, "You're not the boss of me!" Or something on the lines of that. Something very Miranda. Then suddenly were laughing and teasing each other and the trio begins.**

 **In fifth grade I started to notice what having two girl best friends was really like. The crushes, the craving for popularity, the girl talk. But in middle school, oh boy, that stuff skyrocketed. Everyone told me I was such a trooper for sticking by them and maybe I am, but that's not how I like to put it. I stuck by them not only because they were all I had, but also because they were _them_. We were _us_. We all needed each other. I needed them. Lizzie and Miranda are not friends you find one day out of nowhere, they're given to you for a reason.**

 **Now that you have the back story, let me delve into my friendship with Miranda. I only say _Miranda_ because Lizzie and I, we have a different relationship; we have a romantic one. But she's still a very important part of my story, so don't think I've forgotten about her. I just want to share my friendship with Miranda, since no one seems to think I have one. They know we're friends with Lizzie, but don't believe we can have our _own_ friendship. I'll admit, at one point I thought that too, but when l look back, I can see it was all possible.**

 **Here's my side of the story.**

 **The time when my friendship with Miranda was most prominent, was in middle school. We found ourselves spending time ranting about Lizzie to each other. I thought, "Hey? Miranda's great. I can hangout with her without Lizzie around. This is cool." But little did I know I'd ruin that the next year.**

 **You see, in eighth grade, my crush on Lizzie took over my life. I constantly analyzed how she acted around me to find hints if she liked me back. I got jealous when she hung out with other guys. I tried to spend every second with her. But every second I spent with Lizzie, I _didn't_ spend with Miranda. And every second I _did_ spend with Miranda, I talked about Lizzie. My life revolved around her and looking back, that wasn't good.**

 **In seventh grade, Miranda became the person I never knew I could go to for advice and for company when Lizzie was off hanging with bad girls, or becoming a model or crushing on Ethan. When she offered to help me with my insane fear over bowling, it shocked me at first since I was the one who normally gave advice to them; it felt nice to have the favor returned.**

 **Also in that grade, Miranda and I had every class together. Every single one. Which meant, we paired up for many assignment and projects. For some reason, when I could have picked Lizzie, I danced with Miranda for co-Ed gym. Maybe we had some weird connection then that made us have to do things _together._ But most likely it was because my crush on Lizzie had yet to become something that changed me.**

 **So in eighth grade, you know, the year my crush on Lizzie blew up, I noticed something. I noticed Miranda acted weird when we were alone but I had no idea why. She'd be extra smiley, extra giggle, extra not herself. And when I mean 'not herself', I mean she'd start getting deep. Something I usually did. She'd ask questions about if we could stay friends in ten years or if it was fate she sat at my table in first grade and ruined my drawing.**

 **Ah heck. Where am I go with this again? Oh right. My friendship with her.**

 **So yeah, I never knew why she acted weird. Till I found her journal and dare I say, I read it. I read Miranda's journal written in eighth grade and it revealed something. She liked me. Had a crush on me. Miranda Sanchez, girl who ruined my drawing in first grade, girl who sometimes made fun of me, girl who was one of my best friends, had a crush on me. The exact same time I'd been crushing on _our_ best friend. And as you know, my crush on Lizzie changed me. It changed my friendship with Miranda too.**

 **Miranda disappeared.**

 **If you thought I might be the one who made her leave, you are so right. I did make her leave. How? Because I happen to like Lizzie instead of Miranda. It's sad actually. I can't control who I like. Miranda is so amazing and pretty, maybe possibly I could have liked her if I didn't know Lizzie. And that doesn't make my relationship with Lizzie any different. I'm just saying, I feel very bad, but was there anything I could have done? I couldn't force myself to like Miranda and I couldn't force my crush on Lizzie to stop.**

 **But maybe there was something else I could have done. I should have tried harder to listen to Miranda. Keep hanging out with her. Not let her slip away from us. Tone down my admiration for Lizzie, to let Miranda know Lizzie's no more important to me than she is.**

 **But I failed and I admit it. So whoever ends up watching this, I hope you know how truly sorry I am.**

 **Miranda, I'm sorry. Very very sorry.**

 **This is Gordo, good night.**

Gordo saluted to the video camera, sighing as he pressed stop. He closed the screen flap and set the camera on the table. All the talking got his throat dry, so he went for a drink of water. Taking a long sip, he pondered what he just did. He told his side of the story to basically nobody, until someone watches the video. Well until Miranda does. She's the only person he intended to watch it. Maybe the only way he could apologize. The only way to get her to forgive him for reading her journal.

Gordo drew another sigh, but more of a tired, peaceful sigh. He clanked the glass cup in the sink and stretched out his arms. He yawned with his mouth wide opened, deciding a long night of rest would be the best thing for him.

Gordo got himself ready for the night. Showering, dressing in his comfy pajamas, brushing his teeth and lastly putting Miranda's journal right by the front door so he would not forget to return it to its rightful owner. Gordo crawled into bed, sunk his head into the pillow, and oddly the last thing he thought was if he should cut his hair. It didn't seem to matter much anymore, keeping it long.

In the morning, while Gordo consumed a bowl of plain corn flakes and watched the news, he heard faint knocking. Praying it'd be Miranda wanting to talk, he leaped up from the couch, bringing the bowl of cereal to the door. He opened it with his free hand.

"Lizzie?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah," Gordo said, in a small voice.

Lizzie walked in and settled onto the couch with Gordo. He focused on finishing the bowl of cereal, not making eye with his girlfriend. Since she was the one who came to talk, Gordo wanted her to be the first to speak.

"Gordo..." Lizzie said. "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I'm just so mad at Miranda I took it out on you."

Gordo set the bowl on the coffee table and twisted his body so he faced Lizzie, sitting side ways on the couch.

"Lizzie, I need to show you something."

Gordo got up and walked to the door where he left the journal the night before. He brought it back to Lizzie and handed it to her.

"What's this?" she asked, grabbing the book.

"Miranda's journal. I found it between the cushions of your couch."

Lizzie gasped. "Oh my gosh. I totally forgot she gave this to me before she went to Mexico."

"Did you ever...read it?"

"Read Miranda's journal? No way."

"Well I did and-"

"Gordo why?" Lizzie said.

"Listen to me Lizzie. Miranda felt like you were superior to her since I liked you instead. She felt left out, down about herself, and wondered why it couldn't be her."

"Is that true?"

"Just read one entry. Just _one_."

Lizzie opened the book and Gordo watched as her eyes consumed Miranda's written words. After reading, she looked up at Gordo and their eyes locked.

"Wow," Lizzie said.

"I know."

"Now I feel bad for getting mad at her."

"Lizzie."

He closed his eyes. "I think it's time the three of us talked about this."

"Gordo I want to rebuild our friendship too, but I don't know what to say."

"Don't worry, I'll help you, okay? We need to show Miranda that we care about her."

"How?" Lizzie asked.

Gordo eyed his camera on the table. He reached over and slid it to him, remembering his long monologue he recited to the camera.

"We'll make a video."

"A video?"

"Yeah. We'll film ourselves saying why we love Miranda and we can get her other friends and family to do so as well."

Lizzie grinned. "That's an excellent idea Gordo. You are amazing."

Gordo grinned back. "Thank you Lizzie and I'm really sorry for keeping things from you."

Lizzie scooted to him on the couch and touched his arm. "No Gordo. I'm sorry I acted like you couldn't be good friends with Miranda. In a way, I'd been jealous of her. Our relationship has always been serious, but you and Miranda were so fun around each other. I always wanted that."

"Then you should tell that to Miranda."

"I think I will."

Gordo smiled, leaning his head on top of Lizzie's. "Things we'll be okay."

"Promise me?"

"I promise, that Gordo, Lizzie and Miranda we'll be best friends again and until _forever_."

* * *

 **If you liked this, consider giving me a review? Id love to know your thoughts! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Gordo decided for the next week he'd give Miranda the space she wanted and _needed_. That's how much he cared for her. Then, it'd give Lizzie and him time to make their film. Before they went out to capture statements from Miranda's family and friends, Gordo and Lizzie were at her apartment to film theirs.

"So we're really making this video?" Lizzie asked Gordo.

"I'd do anything for Miranda." He opened the video camera flap and started recording.

"Me too." Lizzie smiled at the camcorder.

"We'll call it, 'The Miranda Sanchez Project,'" Gordo decided. He aimed the lens at him and Lizzie. They pressed their heads together so they could both fit in the shot.

"Hey Miranda, it's your best friends here," Gordo said to the camera. "We're making this film to show you how much you mean to your friends and family."

"And what better way then to start with us?" Lizzie added.

"Definitely," Gordo agreed. He whipped the camera around to just capture Lizzie. "Why don't you start."

"Hey Miranda!" Lizzie waved. "You've always felt like the sister I never had. I could come to you for advice and good ideas and to talk about boys. I could never do that with Gordo. That's why you're special to me Miranda. You were always there for me when I needed you. _Always_. But I wish I was there for you more."

Lizzie's voice started to break and she wiped her wet eyes. "I wish I was there for you more."

A small sympathetic smile appeared on Gordo's face as he watched Lizzie cry in front of the camera. It's was then he knew, Lizzie was truly sorry and she forgave Miranda. When he let her tears subside, Gordo handed her the camera so she could film him. But once he stared into the lens, he had the inability to speak. Gordo had so many things to say about Miranda, he didn't know how to start. He smiled shyly at the camera while scratching the back of his neck. Lizzie flipped the camera to her face quickly.

"Sorry Miranda, looks like Gordo has nothing to say," Lizzie teased.

"Hey!" Gordo grinned, pulling the camera away from her hands.

"Miranda." He looked at the lens. "Remember when you asked me what was my favorite thing about you? Well I remember I gave you a lame answer. Now I know. My favorite thing about you is when we hang together and it's like we're in our own world. We talk about people, culture, and life around us. _Anything._ It doesn't matter what we talk about, because you can hold the best conversations. Remember your rants and how I'd always listen to you talk for minutes and minutes and minutes, without me saying a word? I'd never complain because listening to you talk was comforting. Miranda, I promise, if you still want to be my friend, I won't stop listening to you talk. To make up for the past four years I wasn't there to listen, we can spend a whole day talking about whatever you want."

Gordo closed his eyes, breathing in and out heavily. He stopped recording and closed his camcorder's screen. When he looked at Lizzie, she focused her soft eyes on him.

"Gordo, I had know idea."

He tipped his head. "About what?"

"You and Miranda."

Gordo kept his head tipped at an angle.

"The way your eyes shine when you talk about her is so sweet. I had no idea you two loved talking. I would have let you guys have more time alone."

When things got sad again, Gordo shook his head. "Nope. I'm not letting you take the blame Lizzie McGuire. You can fight all you want, but _you are not taking the blame._ "

Lizzie laughed at how serious Gordo's face became. "Okay okay. What do you want me to do? Blame _you_?"

Gordo perked and pretty much jumped up. "Yes. I'll fully take all the blame. For _everything_."

"But this video will change things right?" Lizzie was half hopeful, but her other half was unsure.

"Only if we can get Ethan and Kate to say something." Gordo sprung off the couch. "Come on let's find them."

"You think Kate will actually say something?" Lizzie followed him to the door after taking her car keys. Gordo paused and thought about that.

After their trip to Rome, Kate and Lizzie and gotten along better; they were nicer to each other. Not exactly best friends again, but they no longer had a feud between each other. But since Miranda wasn't there, and Kate hadn't seen her in four years, Gordo wondered if they'd still act the same; tearing each other's hair out.

"I guess we'll find out," Gordo said.

"Find out what?" A different voice spoke. Lizzie and Gordo turned there heads towards the kitchen.

"Kate, I didn't know you were home," Lizzie said.

"Sorry, I was in my room," Kate said. "I heard you guys talking about Miranda. Is she okay?"

Gordo glanced at Lizzie before looking at Kate again. "She's back."

"In Hillridge?" Kate eyes grew.

"Yes, she moved back. We're making a film for her. Do you want to say something for Miranda?" Gordo asked.

Kate shrugged. "I have no idea what to say."

"Anything to make her feel appreciated," Lizzie suggested.

Gordo brought his camera up and turned it on. "Action," he called.

"Um, Miranda...Lizzie and Gordo missed you so much," Kate said. "Please come back and be their friend again so Lizzie can stop weeping every night."

Kate looked at Gordo for approval and he gave her a thumbs up behind the camera. She smiled and walked back into the kitchen.

"Thanks Kate," Lizzie said.

"Hey where's Ethan? We want to get a statement from him too." Gordo asked.

"He's with Larry," Kate said over her shoulder. "I believe they're at the mall buying that new video game."

"Let's go." Gordo pulled Lizzie to the door.

•••

Gordo and Lizzie arrived at the mall and walked to the video game store where Kate said Ethan and Larry were buying the game. Lizzie spotted Ethan's light brown hair, with golden streaks and waved them over, but since their backs were facing them, they couldn't see her.

"Lizzie," Gordo hushed. "They can't see you."

"Then come on, let's go get them." Lizzie almost ran into the store.

Gordo grabbed her arm. "Let's wait till they finishing paying first."

"Sorry I'm just so eager to make this film." Lizzie grinned.

"Me too. Me too." Gordo wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed the side of her head.

They waited for another minute until Ethan and Larry finally walked out the video game store. Ethan's eyes lit up when he saw them.

"Lizzie, Gordon!" Ethan greeted with a cheesy smile. He leaned into Gordo for a guy hug. Gordo chuckled, but accepted the hug, patting his back.

"So Ethan, Larry," Gordo said, once he was apart from Ethan. "Could you do us a favor?"

"Anything," Larry said.

"We need you to say something to Miranda. Something you loved about her, on camera," Lizzie told her friends.

"Why? You gonna send her a video or somethin'? She's not even here," Ethan said.

"We're sorry we couldn't tell you before, but Miranda's back. _Here,"_ Gordo announced. He loved being the one to tell everyone about Miranda's return. It's like he was revealing something top secret that only he knew. He felt some weird obligation, where he had the duty to inform his friends and family about Miranda, because he was responsible for her disappearance.

"Alright!" Ethan cheered. "The three amigos are back together."

"Not exactly Ethan. That's why we have to make this video. To show Miranda how much we need her in our lives and how much we care about her," Gordo explained.

"Don't worry Gordo, Miranda's our friend too. We'll help you," Larry said.

"Thank you! Miranda will be so happy."

Ethan, Larry, and Lizzie followed Gordo out of the mall. They stopped in front of a brick wall to film. Ethan was first. He stood firm and tousled his hair with his hands, making sure it looked perfect. As Gordo checked that Ethan was in frame, he gave him a thumbs up.

"You're good Ethan," Gordo said. "Just be natural. Say whatever comes to your mind. I can edit it later if we need to."

"Okay." Ethan adjusted his shoulders and cleared his throat.

"Action!"

"Miranda? What's up? We haven't seen you in like, forever. Like dude, we missed you around here. You should have been here for our graduation. Gordon over here made the greatest speech in the entire world. He dedicated it to you and said some nice things about you..."

Gordo looked at Ethan, but his eyes shot way past him, through the brick wall. Thanks to the goofball, he remembered his graduation speech, a year and a half ago.

 _"And here is Valedictorian, David Gordon, to give the class speech."_

 _Gordo stepped onto the podium and adjusted the microphone. He had no paper nor note cards; he memorized his speech and would recite it from memory. His eyes went around the room, looking for his parents. Once he saw them, he began his speech._

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, fellow classmates. Before I begin my speech, I'd like to dedicate it to someone who I've known for thirteen years. She's one of the funniest people I know. She knows how to lighten the mood. She knows how to hold a good conversation. She knows how to be a friend._

 _Friendships are strange. You may meet someone you have so much in common with, but can't get on with. You might meet someone you do get on with, but having nothing in common. Or you may end up like me, and you meet someone because they ruined your drawing in first grade._

 _Friendships hold this school together. We wake up everyday excited to see our friends. We pair up with friends for projects. We join clubs because our friends are in them. We sit with our friends at lunch. We sit with them on the bus. Friends hold this school together._

 _But the sad thing about friendships, they don't last forever. As much as we say and wish they could, it's just not reality. People grow apart, have knew desires, disagreements. Sometimes, even leave you with no explanation._

 _Fellow classmates, please hold on to your friends. Hold onto the memories. Don't let the people closest to you slip away. Talk constantly. Talk about your issues and concerns. Talk about your fears and worries. Never stop talking to those closest to you. It will build your relationships, make them stronger._

 _And like I mentioned in the beginning, I dedicate this speech and the four years of my high school experience to my best friend, Miranda Samchez, wherever the heck she is._

 _Thank you."_

Gordo blinked, coming back to the present where Ethan babbled and got off topic about the great parties Miranda had thrown and when one time Larry ate ten powdered donuts at once. Gordo's brain had been too invested in remembering his speech, he didn't hear what Ethan said about Miranda.

"Um Ethan? Could you repeat what you said? Maybe a little shorter this time?" Gordo requested.

"You mean like, the whole party thing?"

Gordo slapped a palm on his forehead. "No no. The stuff about _Miranda_."

"Oh right. Miranda. Okay I'm ready."

"Action!"

"Hey Miranda, it's Ethan Craft. Remember me? I missed you, like a lot. We all did. My favorite thing about you is your smile. No one could smile the way you did. It's like, when you smile, it's contagious. Makes us all want to smile too."

"Aw that's so sweet," Lizzie said, standing next to Gordo and Larry.

"Was that good?" Ethan asked Gordo.

"Perfect."

"Your turn Larry," Lizzie said.

Larry took Ethan's place in front of the brick wall and waited for Gordo's cue.

"Hi Miranda. Look I'm wearing a new shirt." Larry pointed to his yellow polo with red trim. "I just wanted to say that even though you didn't invite me to your party in eighth grade, you've been a wonderful friend. Your absence was truly felt like Obi Wan, when he died and left Luke Skywalker alone to defeat the dark side. Not to sound creepy, but I kept a picture of you as my screen saver so I could always remember you. I hope we can hangout sometime, sincerely, the Tudge."

Gordo stopped recording and smiled at Larry and Ethan. "Thanks guys. I know Miranda will love what you said about her."

"No problem Gordon. Tell Miranda we can't wait to see her," Ethan said.

"We will, trust me. See you guys later."

•••

The next stop was the McGuire's house. The place where Miranda spent almost every weekend, had loads of sleepovers and even came over with Gordo, when Lizzie was working at the Digital Bean. The McGuire's was not only special to Gordo, but to the trios friendship entirely. Mr. and Mrs. McGuire loved Miranda like a daughter and Matt, well he once had a crush on her; they'd all have plenty to say about Miranda.

Lizzie knocked on the front door with Gordo following behind. When Jo McGuire opened the door she immediately went in for a from her daughter. Then she moved on to her daughters boyfriend.

"Jo, when you're finished hugging us, could you gather up Sam and Matt? We have a project for you," Gordo gasped from under Jo's smothering hug.

"Sorry I'm done." Jo let go and laughed a little. Gordo and Lizzie followed her inside.

"Matt, Sam, get in here. Gordo and Lizzie having something for us to do," Jo called through the house.

Matt came into the living room holding a controller. Sam showed up with a sandwich.

"But mom I'm playing video games with Lanny," Matt complained.

"Well Lanny's gonna gave to wait," Jo said. She turned to Lizzie and Gordo. "So what's this project?"

"First before anything, I have important information," Gordo told the McGuire's. Lizzie couldn't stop smiling, while her parents and brother leaned closer in anticipation.

"Miranda's back in town," he announced yet again.

"Are you serious? That's fantastic. You two must be absolutely elated right?" Jo raved.

"We are. But it's going be some time before things get back to the way it used to be," Gordo said.

Lizzie nodded, agreeing with him. "For now, we're making this little film to show Miranda how much everyone loves her," she added.

Mr. McGuire took a big bite of his sandwich and smiled with his cheeks bulging. "That's cool. What do you want us to do?"

"Just say something about Miranda to the camera," Gordo instructed.

"Anything?" Matt asked with a mischievous smile.

Gordo rolled his eyes and gave Matt a scolded look. "Not _anything._ Just let her know you care about her. Can you do that Matt?"

"I don't know. Miranda's Lizzie's friend. Can't she just say something?"

"Matt, you had a crush on her once, just talk about that," Lizzie suggested.

Matt made a face like he had sucked on a whole lemon. "Ew no. I was trying to forget about that."

"Just think of something Matt," Sam said.

"Fine."

"Thank you. Now you three sit on the couch," Gordo said."One by one, give your little speech."

"Speech?!" Matt shrieked as she squeezed in between his parents on the couch. "I didn't know we had to say a whole speech about Miranda."

Gordo chuckled. "I didn't mean it like that Matt. Don't worry, it can be as short as you want. You guys ready?"

"Yup," Jo and Sam said.

"Okay, Sam you're first." Gordo aimed the camera at Mr. McGuire.

"Miranda, we're glad you're back. It'd be so nice to see you at the house again. You've been the most wonderful friend to Lizzie and I couldn't be more thankful that you have been in her life."

Gordo panned the camera to Matt. "Your turn."

Matt scratched his head. "Um... Miranda you are awesome and I hope you guys become friends again so Lizzie can stop bothering me. Oh and thanks for all the times you brought Mexican food over for dinner. Your super cool and stuff. So yeah."

Finally, Gordo panned to Mrs. McGuire. He knew he'd get something emotional out of her; Jo tended to get that way.

"Oh Miranda. I've missed you around the house so much. You have no idea. It still pains to remember the times Lizzie cried in her room, wishing you were there. I always told her to be patience and you'd come right back. I knew you couldn't leave forever. I knew you'd be back. I think you just needed sometime to find yourself right? I hope you know us McGuire's love you dearly."

•••

The last people Gordo and Lizzie wanted to film was of course, Miranda's parents and her younger sister Stevie. They called them ahead of time to meet at the park so Miranda wouldn't be around. The Sanchez's weren't sure what they were doing, but when Gordo explained, Daniella started tearing and hugged him tight.

"Thank you Gordo," she said softly.

"For what?"

"Being such a great friend to Miranda."

"I could have been better."

Daniella let go of him and held his cheeks. "Gordo it doesn't matter what happened, you made my daughter happy. Edward and I still want you in Miranda's life and ours too."

Gordo smiled, letting his cheeks squish against Daniella's hands. "I've missed you guys."

"Me too," Lizzie said.

Daniella moved to Lizzie and squeezed her in a hug. "Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. Oh it's so good to see you."

"Same here Mrs. Sanchez."

"Ugh, no more being sappy, let's just film already," Stevie complained just like Matt.

Gordo put an arm around Miranda's sister. "Where have you been Stevie? You weren't at the apartment when I was there?"

"I was hanging with my old friends."

"Well it's good to see you too Stevie. I missed you. Did you miss me?"

Stevie slipped both her arms around his waist and leaned her head on Gordo's chest. She didn't answer, but he took that as a yes. A gigantic yes.

"You know before we left for Mexico, Stevie begged us to let her stay with you," Edward said.

"Oh really?" Gordo grinned at Stevie.

"They're lying," Stevie said in defense.

"If I remember correctly Stevie, you had a crush on Gordo way back when," Lizzie said.

Gordo's eyebrows went high on his forehead. "Ooh, I want to hear more about this."

"Don't we have to film?" Stevie reminded them.

"Right, we'll film first _then_ you can tell me about it."

Stevie punched Gordo's shoulder, almost knocking him over just like her older sister.

"Yup, you are definitely Miranda's sister," Gordo said, rubbing his shoulder.

The Sanchez's took turns talking about Miranda.

 **Stevie:**

"You're the best sister in the whole world Miranda. I love you so much. Thanks for the advice, the boy talk and for being there for me whenever I needed to vent. I will always be there for you too."

 **Daniella:**

"My Mija, I love love love you. I'm glad you got to spend some time in Mexico where your father and I were born, but I'm happy you're back in the town you grew up in. I hope things work out and you live the life you want. Your friends and family are always here for you."

 **Edward:**

"My precious Miranda, you are my world. You are so talented and gifted and beautiful. I'm so thankful that you are my daughter. Life will treat you well. I believe it."

It mesmerized Gordo to hear Miranda's family get emotional over her and made him realize he wasn't the only who cares about her; not the only one who _could_ care about her. Gordo realized it wasn't right for him to leave Lizzie out of everything.

But a part of him wished Miranda could be his little secret.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Once Gordo had all the desired clips for The Miranda Sanchez Project, he waited for them to load into his computer. While doing so, he had an idea. Before giving back Miranda's journal, he'd write something inside for her. He noticed there was one blank page and it seemed only fitting, that since she wrote something for him, he'd write something for her. So while the clips loaded, which often took an agonizing amount of time, he wrote on the last page of Miranda's journal.

 **Ten things I missed about Miranda when she was in Mexico:**

 **1\. Our late night phone calls, ranting about people from school.**

 **2\. Hanging out with her when my parents were working and Lizzie was busy.**

 **3\. Helping her babysit Stevie.**

 **4\. Listening to her sing.**

 **5\. Hugging her when she's down.**

 **6\. Her telling me to have more fun.**

 **7\. Her laugh.**

 **8\. Her smile.**

 **9\. Being her partner for school projects.**

 **10\. Being her best friend.**

When Gordo finished writing, he read it through over and over. He wasn't doubtful of any part of what he wrote; he meant every letter and every word, but reading those ten things took him back to painful times. He could vividly remember lying in his bed in high school, thinking Miranda would never come back, sitting alone in the classes he didn't have with Lizzie and not getting to decorate his house with her when Hanukkah came. Boy, did thinking of the last one made Gordo actually tear up. An excessive amount of liquid dripped down his cheeks and onto the journal.

"I shouldn't be crying," Gordo spoke to himself as he dried his tears on the page with his sleeve. He pushed the journal aside and checked that the clips had finished loading into the computer. "This film will change everything."

Gordo started editing everything he'd accumulated together. He added titles, pictures and music. Once satisfied, he reviewed the film one last time. He cried again but of happiness when the pictures of all three of them appeared. The picture that made him cry the most was one focused on Miranda and him.

They were at Lizzie's fourteenth birthday, surrounded by classmates. The photograph seemed to focus on Miranda's face as she kept a longing stare at Gordo, who was looking at the camera with wide eyes; the photo had been a surprise, snapped by Sam. Miranda's face showed every bit of admiration. He could tell just by observing her face. He also remembered how she acted at the party; Miranda had been glued by his side the entire time.

"She'll be by my side again," Gordo said. "Once Lizzie and I can fully apologize and she watches this film."

Gordo called Lizzie, letting her know he finished editing the film and he had put it on a tape. Before that, he got word from Daniella that Miranda was running at the park, so that's where Lizzie and him went to deliver the tape and journal.

Gordo caught Miranda jogging down the cement path that circled the park. He motioned for Lizzie to run after her with him. When they caught up, Miranda quickened her pace. Already breathless, Gordo and Lizzie quickened their pace along with her.

"Miranda, I know you hate me," Gordo shouted. "But I have something for you."

Miranda stopped running, but didn't turn around.

"I'm really sorry for getting mad at you Miranda. I had no idea how hurt you must have been in eighth grade," Lizzie said. "I completely forgive you for leaving."

Miranda turned around, seeing Lizzie's wet eyes. Gordo stepped closer, handing her the journal and tape. "These are for you."

It surprised him when she took the tape from him. "What's the tape?" Miranda asked quiet and soft.

"It's called 'The Miranda Sanchez Project.' Watch it whenever you are ready."

Gordo walked away with Lizzie, thinking he wouldn't hear from Miranda in a long time, if not forever.

But just one week later, Miranda showed up at the Digital Bean, where Gordo and Lizzie sipped iced coffee. Since Gordo faced the doors and Lizzie had her back towards them, he noticed Miranda first. His lips curved high until his teeth poked through in a smile.

"Gordo what?" Lizzie said, smiling herself.

He nodded his head up in the direction of the door. Lizzie twisted her neck to look back. Miranda came closer and soon she was at their table. At first her expression was plain and soft, but when she looked at Gordo then at to Lizzie. She broke down. Her eyes welled and tears flowed out.

"I'm sorry," Miranda choked, putting her head down. "I'm sorry for leaving you guys."

Gordo glanced at Lizzie, his lips quivering into a frown. He looked back at Miranda, fighting his own tears back.

"It's okay," he calmed her. "It's okay."

Lizzie slid to the wall in the booth so Miranda could sit next to her, but she didn't sit down. When Miranda's tears were only just wet eyes, she spoke again.

"I watched the film," Miranda said. "I was speechless." She locked eyes with Lizzie.

"Lizzie, what you said made me cry."

"Really?" Lizzie swallowed.

Miranda kept her eyes on Lizzie and her tears started up again. "I missed you so much," she cried.

Lizzie got out of the booth so she could hug Miranda. "You have no idea how much I missed you," she said, squeezing the girl that always felt like her sister.

Gordo watched them as his heart warmed. He wanted to join the hug so bad, but he knew he had to let them have their own moment. He got his and now it was Lizzie's turn.

"Go hug Gordo," Lizzie said, pulling apart. "He deserves it. The whole film was his idea."

Miranda smiled at her then took a peek at Gordo behind Lizzie. He gazed at her with a small grin, knowing what was about to happen. The second he slid out if the booth and stood up, Miranda leaped to him and nearly knocked him over in a heavy hug. Gordo closed his eyes, clinging onto her. He held Miranda like it would keep her from ever leaving again.

"I love you," Miranda whispered to him.

Gordo frozen in the hug and shot his eyes open.

"As a best friend," Miranda finished with a smile even though he couldn't see it.

Gordo chuckled, still holding her. "Does that mean you no longer hate me?"

"Duh."

He let go of her, but stayed inches apart.

"Then I love you too."

He looked at Lizzie. "See I told you everything would work out."

Lizzie walked up to him quickly and spun him around so he faced her. "You are a genius Gordo!" she gushed, hugging him. "My little genius."

Gordo grinned, but when he caught Miranda's expression, he frowned. She bit her bottom lip as she stared at the floor and she dug her fingers into her arm. Gordo removed himself from Lizzie.

"You okay Miranda?"

She smiled, tucking hair behind her ear. "Yeah of course, totally."

Judging by how quickly she answered and how fake he could tell her smile was, Gordo didn't believe she was actually okay.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

"You know what we need to do?" Lizzie said to Gordo and Miranda. "Talk. Like we used to."

Gordo smiled, liking the idea.

"Here?" Miranda asked.

"How about my parent's house. Where we used to talk all the time? We can lay on the grass, admire the sky and catch up."

Gordo looked to Miranda. "What do you think?" he asked her. "You want to talk like old times?"

"Sure. I'll follow you guys there. You two probably arrived here together anyway right?" said Miranda.

Gordo did not like the tone of her voice. It made him feel like he had done something wrong.

"Come on Gordo, let's go." Lizzie tugged his arm. He'd been staring at Miranda, but when she left, he ended up staring at nothing.

Lizzie drove Gordo to the McGuire's house, thinking they arrived before Miranda. But when Gordo took a peek out of the back door, Miranda was already there, lying on the grass. She looked up at the bright, blue sky with arms around her head. While Lizzie talked to her parents a bit, Gordo lay next to her first.

"Feels weird huh?" He looked at her. "Being here."

Miranda continued to stare up at the sky. "Sort of," she commented.

It became silent for a moment. Then she turned her head, brushing it across the grass. "It's weird seeing _you_."

"Am I supposed to take offense to that?" He caught her eye, smirking.

"No. It's weird because when I look at you, it feels like I never left." She went back to looking at the sky.

Gordo kept his eyes on her, sitting in what she said. It felt like she never left to him too. He felt the comfort in talking to her again. That guy wrenching feeling that used to sit in his stomach had finally disappeared. Things felt right again. The trio was back together.

"Um Gordo?" Miranda spoke in almost a whisper. Gordo could sense some nervousness in her voice and when she turned her head again, his eyes still fixed on her.

"I think I might still like-" Miranda didn't finish, leaving Gordo like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. "Never mind," she said, shaking her head. Miranda jerked her head in the opposite direction.

Lizzie came out the back door right at that moment, joining Gordo and Miranda on the grass.

"So what are we talking about?" she asked, speaking about the two, as she lay next to her boy friend.

"How weird it is for the three of us to be here again. Reminds me of middle school," Gordo told her. "And how it feels like Miranda never left us at all."

Lizzie peered over Gordo to smile at her best friend. "Yeah, it does feel you never left. So what should we talk about now?"

"How about what the heck you two have been up to the past four years?" Miranda suggested.

Gordo eyed Miranda. "Missing you," he said.

"Besides that," said Miranda with the classic eye roll she used to always give Gordo.

He grinned at her, admiring her dark brown eyes and her new hairstyle. Everything that happened in the last few days was such a blur, he didn't get a proper look at Miranda. She was so grown up and older since he last saw her at the age of fourteen. She was nineteen now-a young women. She still had her wit, but she was also more mature.

"Gordo chose to take classes here in Hillridge instead of NYU so he could be closer to me," Lizzie said.

Miranda opened her eyes wide. "You gave up your dream college? For love?"

"Love can make you do crazy things," Gordo said.

Miranda rolled her head to the side. "Tell me about it," she muttered.

"What Miranda?" Lizzie said.

"Nothing. So what else happened around here?"

"Matt broke up with Melina and he was pretty bummed. Kate and I moved into our own apartment-"

"No way?" Miranda gasped, lifting her body up on the grass.

"Yup. She's not as bad as you think," Lizzie said.

"So I missed a lot huh?" Said Miranda.

All three of them sighed.

"Whatever," Gordo said, sliding his hand to Miranda's hand, squeezing it. "Forget about everything that happened before. No need to dwell on the past. Right Lizzie?"

He turned to Lizzie, letting go of Miranda's hand. Lizzie grinned and he leaned and gave her a kiss. Gordo heard some shuffling and when he looked back at Miranda, she was gone and halfway down the McGuire's hallway. _She must have ran_ , Gordo thought.

"What is it?" Lizzie said, noticing Gordo's furrowed brows.

"Miranda left."

"Left?" Lizzie sat up. "Why?"

Gordo shrugged. "I don't know. But she ran off."

"I don't think she's okay Gordo. Is there anything else she told you?"

"Daniella mentioned about a break bad breakup she had, but she can't still be upset about that."

Lizzie sighed. "Then what could it be?"

Gordo started to stand up. "I think I might know. Let me go find her." He ran to the back door.

"Wait Gordo! Why can't I come?" Lizzie called.

"Just wait here, let me find her!" he called back, already in the house.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Gordo left the McGuire's in a hurry by foot since Lizzie drove them to the Digital Bean and her house. Before he went to look for Miranda, he grabbed his video camera from his apartment. Then he searched the Digital Bean, Hillridge park, the library, but she wasn't at any of those places. Gordo pulled out his cell phone to call the Sanchez's apartment, but Daniella said Miranda wasn't home. She wasn't concerned though, when he told her what happened.

"Gordo, Miranda's overwhelmed about everything, but I'm sure if you keep searching you'll find her. She can't be too far," said Daniella.

Gordo followed her instructions and kept searching for Miranda. He walked around Hillridge, then smacked his head. He was so dumb for not thinking of it before. The Sanchez's old house, the one Miranda lived in for almost her whole life, wasn't currently occupied by anyone. He ran down the sidewalk till he reached the house. Gordo looked around for anybody watching him, then when it was clear, he opened the gate and went to the back yard. He saw Miranda, sitting under a medium sized oak tree. She picked at the grass, sprinkling blades on her legs.

"You know, even though this was your old house, you're still trespassing," Gordo half teased, but was also serious as he moved closer. Startled, Miranda looked up for a second, but then avoided his eyes.

"Can we talk?" Gordo asked, now standing right in front of her.

"No," Miranda mumbled. He crouched to the ground, sitting next to her under the tree.

"This was the tree where you gave me my nickname, remember?" Gordo pointed out. She looked off to the side. "We were seven and you heard the word Gordo and despite knowing it meant 'fat' in Spanish, you decided to call me that."

Miranda barley smiled. "You never seemed like a David to me. I hated calling you that."

"And now I can't see myself being called anything _but_ Gordo."

They laughed, but then it grew silent, both knowing what needed to be addressed.

"Thanks for what you wrote in my journal," Miranda changed the subject. "You really meant it?"

"Of course. Those were truly ten things I missed when you were gone."

Miranda just nodded silently, then started picking at the grass again. Gordo watched her as she yanked clumps of blades aggressively, before letting them slip from her fingers and into the air. Her mood wasn't any different than he'd ever seen her in before; she was being typical Miranda, going silent when something had to be talked about. But still, Gordo didn't like seeing her that way.

"So you never told me why you came back. You only told me why you left," Gordo mentioned, picking blades of grass himself.

Miranda continued picking at the grass, but she talked while doing so. "I came back because of you," she told him. Gordo perked up.

"When I left, I was siting on something. I was siting on my crush on you. Leaving made it worse. I kept imagining you with Lizzie, holding hands, going on dates, kissing and have having fun without me. But I also thought of you and why I liked you in the first place and I just had to come back. I had to, in case by some chance you two didn't end up being a couple."

Gordo let everything sink in. "So you're still not over me?" he asked, though he already knew her answer.

"Gordo, I support you and Lizzie one hundred percent but..."

"Yeah?"

"I think I still like you," Miranda confessed. "No scratch that. I _know_ I still like you."

Gordo could only nodded. He didn't have the right words to say. "So what are we going to do?" asked Gordo. His head was titled down a little, but he looked at her out the corner of his eye as if things became awkward.

Miranda softly sighed, laying her head back on the tree stump. "I just need to figure out myself," she said. "Try to get rid of whatever I'm feeling."

He lifted his head and followed his eyes to her. "Just don't beat yourself up, okay?" he requested.

She opened her eyes and looked at him with a tiny smirk. "Gordo you worry too much."

"Do I really?" He actually wanted to know.

She just laughed at him and they were quiet again, enjoying the peacefulness and the comfort of being at Miranda's old house.

"I'm glad you're back Miranda. _Seriously_." Gordo started talking again.

"I'm glad you're back too," she said.

"But I never left."

Miranda poked his arm. "I'm glad you're back in my _life_ ," she made more clear.

He chuckled, because it was unlike them to be serious around each other. Their relationship had always been fun, playful, full of jokes and teasing, much like little kids. It was rare for them to have deep conversations. If they did, somehow they always managed to add a joke or two, along with of course, their playful banter.

"Hey, I forgot," Gordo said, bringing up his video camera he'd been holding onto the whole time. "I have something else to show you."

"Another film?"

"Kind of." He turned on the camera and handed it to her. "Just watch."

Miranda pressed play and the video of Gordo talking to the camera about his friendships started. His whole face almost covered the entire screen. Gordo watched her as she laughed and cried.

"Good tears?" he asked.

"Yes," she sobbed. "You're so sweet Gordo."

"Well I try to be," he teased. Miranda giggled, rubbing her tear stricken eyes. Then she pushed him over.

"You just can't stop hurting me can you?" he teased again, sitting up.

"Hey, I haven't done it in four years. I need to catch up."

Gordo smiled and pushed Miranda back till she fell on the grass, then he fell with her by his own will. As they lay on the grass, facing each other, he looked deep into her eyes.

"What is it?" Miranda asked, eyebrows pointed down.

"You're beautiful," he simply said. "You really are."

"Thanks," Miranda said, her smile the biggest he'd ever seen her make.

"Those red streaks really suit you."

She smirked again. "Are you feeling okay Gordo?"

"Why?"

"Cause you're actually complimenting me."

He had to laughed that. "Well now that I'm grown up, more mature, I realized, complementing someone is not just exclusive to someone you have a crush on. You should complement your friends and family too."

She admired the sky again. "That's a great realization Gordo," Miranda said.

Gordo started lifting himself off the ground and stood up. "Come with me to dinner," he offered, holding out his hand to help her up. Miranda grabbed it and pulled herself to her feet.

"No way. I'm not tagging along to your guy's date. I won't be a third wheel again."

He shook his head and laughed. "No, just you and me. I want to talk more."

"Are you serious? Just the two of us?"

He liked how excited she got. "Well there will be other people around us. It's a restaurant you know."

"Gordo," she whined, trying to hide her smile and whacking his shoulder lightly.

He crossed his arms and mocked an annoyed glare. "So what? You coming or not?"

Miranda ran to the front of the house and yelled, "Let's go!"

Gordo rolled his eyes, but smiled. He quickly called Lizzie, telling her everything was okay and where Miranda and him were going. Then as he tried catching up to her, for what seemed like the hundredth time, he vowed he'd never let Miranda leave his life ever again.

 _ **the end...**_


End file.
